#probably he bought it from thrift shop

[a-man-for-hire-and-his-archives]

Been thinking of Taika Waititi's sweaters on this year, why not look for it? Here we goes to find out what the brand he's wearing!

Brands: Nanushka Terry knit tile print sweater Color: Creme & Pink

Price: 205 EUR (on sale) original price: 413 EUR

Brands: Scotch & Soda - Pull col rond chiné

Price: $248.00 CAD

Bonus: Taika Waititi's shirt for Lie Detector for Vanity Fair

Brands: Orangebag NN07 Nolan Cotton Knitted Polo

[lamentationsofalonelypotato]

Chapter 5: We Got Us An IKEA Virgin

Pairing: Soldier Boy x f!reader, Reader POV

Summary:  When you decided to work with Butcher and his merry band of supe hunters to take down Homelander, you neve expected to be saddled with a sullen, grumpy, jerk like Soldier Boy when the job was done. The more you're around him the more you hate him, but you can't help but wonder, is he really as big a jerk as you think? Reader is a supe with plant powers. This takes place in an AU about a month after the end of The Boys Season 3, in which Butcher has let Soldier Boy continue to work with him on his team.  (I'm real bad at summaries, please forgive me!)

Tropes: Enemies to Lovers (Not in this chapter), Slow Burn, Age Difference (Reader is in her 20s), Protective Ben/ Soldier Boy, Soft Ben/Soldier Boy.

Word Count: 5.3K

Warnings: I'm going to label this 18+ because Soldier Boy (he's a warning and everyone knows it), derogatory comments, sexism, swearing, mentions of sex, sexual innuendo, sexual tension. Ben/Soldier Boy might be a little bit OOC.

Note: This is told from Reader's perspective. Any references to the reader is made using you or your. There is minimal use of y/n. I tried my best to proofread, but nobody's perfect. If you don’t like, don’t read, but if you do like, you’re my favorite!

Internal monologue is in italics and is in first person.

A/N: This one is incredibly fluffy and self-indulgent, let's be honest, all of my fics are and I'm not sorry. This chapter contains an absolutely cutesy scenario that I just had to write, so if you don't like anything like that then probably shouldn't read it :) If you love that kind of thing then ENJOY!

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

“What the fuck is this place?” Ben asks in disbelief as he looks around the spacious lobby of the Brooklyn IKEA.

The smell of cinnamon buns, chocolate chip cookies, coffee, and Swedish meatballs wafts over the crowded lobby towards where the two of you stand just inside the welcoming large blue and yellow front doors. Light streams through the front windows tickling against your skin and spreading over the front tables where various displays of houseplants bask in the late afternoon sun. They stretch their leaves towards the sunlight, unfurling towards the light each in various shades of green, sitting in happy colored pots waiting to be picked up by the people who weave through the front lobby.

There were less here than at the plant shop of course, but there were still enough plants for you to feel the prickle of your powers beneath your skin and feel the plants begin to tilt towards you as they sense you enter the building.

“It’s IKEA. You’ve never been to IKEA before?” You say taking a step towards the display of snake plants, livening up a few that look like they could use a little love, feeling the gentle bend of their firm leaves straighten beneath your touch.

“I don’t know if you remember this or not Petals, but I haven’t exactly been out and about in forty years. And I have no idea why you’ve been here before.”

“Well I’ve never been to this exact location before, but there was one an hour away from where Annie and I grew up. There wasn’t much to do where we lived so we drove to that one. But that’s beside the point. IKEA was created in the 50’s which means you had thirty years to experience all of this.” You glance up at him mildly confused.

He could have at least heard of IKEA in the thirty years he had before he got taken to Russia.

“So? I’ve never been shopping for furniture. I just made Legend do that shit for me. I was saving the world. Didn’t have time to go picking out couches like a fucking pansy.” Ben frowns down at you.

“Really? You didn’t care what was in your apartment? You didn't want to test out a couch before you bought it?” You think about your vintage bedside table and carved wooden headboard that you found when thrifting with Annie one weekend. "I mean you had to look at it everyday."

Ben shrugs. “Wasn’t there too much. Really just needed the bed.“

"So you're telling me you're an IKEA virgin?" You gasp dramatically.

Ben quirks the end of his lips mildly amused. "Will you be gentle with me if I say yes?"

"I'll consider it." You shrug. "But then again it was you that said you liked it a little rough and that there was nothing gentle about you. So, I think you're just gonna have to put on your big boy pants and follow my lead."

"Baby I can't wait to show you just how big I-"

You roll your eyes and turn back to the plants that need your attention, interrupting the end of his sentence. "I really hope that whoever lives in your old apartment burned down the whole building and then rebuilt. Seems like the only way to purge what happened there in the bed you're so proud of.” You shudder trying hard not to think about what happened in Ben’s old apartment and say a prayer that the same thing won’t happen in yours.

Not in front of my plants, they're young and impressionable for fucks sake.

It had been three days since Ben and you had watched a movie on your couch and exactly two days after he’d moved all his stuff in from Butcher’s apartment. Stuff being a relative term because it was really just a large garbage bag filled with his clothes.

It made you feel even worse for him when he showed up at your front door with that, but you had cleaned out the linen closet and removed a few of the shelves inside it for Ben to use. It was a better alternative to him using your bedroom closet. The last thing you wanted was for him to come into your room at inopportune times.

The team had different reactions to finding out the two of you were living together. Butcher had mocked you endlessly, Frenchie and Kimiko had bought you a ridiculously skimpy, cheap, and tight set of lacy lingerie that looked more like dental floss than anything else, MM told you that you were making a mistake, Hughie was stunned, and Annie was annoying you without end.

Annie had begun to send you pictures of what Ben and your children would look like and you had retaliated by telling Hughie about the Fourth of July disaster that happened when you and Annie were sixteen. When Annie was in the cherry pie eating contest after deciding to partake in cheaply made moonshine her boyfriend, Dominic, had stolen from his dad and then vomited red froth all over her boyfriend when he tried to kiss her and made him throw up all over her.

You still couldn’t look at a cherry pie without gagging.

Unfortunately that just made the photos get more and more unhinged. The last one was a picture of a body builder standing in a green house with a baby’s face photoshopped on it.

You suspected that Hughie had something to do with that one. And as revenge, you sent Annie a picture of a baby with a light bulb photoshopped where its head should be.

But while sitting on your couch watching that ridiculous movie with Ben, you realized that if Ben was really going to move in you needed to get a bigger one, one that he could at least stretch out on without his legs hanging over the end and one that he wouldn't have to worry about falling off of if he moved more than a centimeter.

You and Ben had spent the morning driving around in Butcher’s car going from auto shop to auto shop trying to see if anyone knew anything about the supe, or had seen anything weird happen the nights the cars were jacked. None of the workers saw anything or had seemed suspicious of Ben and you asking questions. The owner of the last auto shop had said that one week ago someone had broken in and stolen some equipment, but the auto shop didn’t have any security cameras. Which meant you were back to square one.

You dreaded the call to Butcher, but when you walked out of the last auto shop you noticed tables and chairs being unloaded from a large truck and when you went over to ask what was going on, you found out that one of the representatives who was running for city comp troller in the next election was throwing a gala on Saturday night.

That meant that the streets would be lined with expensive cars, and you knew that was something the supe wouldn’t be able to pass up. Expensive cars in his neighborhood just waiting to be stripped. So now Butcher was making a plan for Saturday night and you were stuck with Ben.

But lately it hadn't felt like you were stuck with him. It felt different.

You were surprised that it had been three days and Ben and you hadn’t killed each other, in fact it was almost kind of nice. Yes he still annoyed the shit out of you and made comments about sleeping with him, but you were getting used to him being there when you got home. Not to mention he actually fixed a leak underneath the kitchen sink that you’d told the super about time and time again for the past four months with no reply.

You didn’t know that Ben knew how to do that kind of stuff. Figured that he never got his hands dirty, but then you’d seen him on his back under the sink with a newly purchased toolbox on the ground next to him. When you'd tried to tell him that you could call someone to do that, he'd waved you off and said that it was a man's job to fix things around the house. But that hadn't stopped you from sitting on the ground next to him and ask him exactly what he was doing so you knew how.

When you’d asked him why he needed to fix it so urgently, Ben said that the dripping was keeping him up at night and the duct tape that you’d put there was about as useful as a broken condom.

Of course it hadn't all been good. 

The closest you’d come to killing him was when he came home one night ago and Mike was in the hallway with you, desperately trying to find out how serious your and Ben’s relationship was. Ben had come up behind you, pulled you into him with a strong hand on your waist, while his other arm wrapped gently under your neck. and had begun to kiss up and down the column of your throat while whispering things loudly that even made Mike's cheeks flush a dark crimson. You wanted to choke Ben out while you desperately tried to ignore how good it felt to be in his arms, how his beard scratched pleasantly against your skin, and how nice and warm he was. Mike had gotten the message and retreated to his apartment and to retaliate you had a key made for Ben that was bright pink and had a picture of hello kitty on it.

But you hadn't been angry enough to abandon Ben this morning when he left the apartment to take out the trash and immediately got cornered by Mike's mother on the wall beside the elevator. You opened the front door of the apartment and saw him pinned to the wall with Mike's mother's hand on Ben's chest, tracing over his muscles while saying that he reminded her of her ex-husband who seemed to keep her up all night long. When his eyes met yours, it was the closest you'd ever seen to genuine fear, and it made you laugh, because you'd seen him face down supes without batting an eye, but he was afraid of a less than five foot tall woman in a bright yellow and green mumu. An evil part of yourself wanted to leave him there as payback, to shut the door and forget about him, but you figured you owed him for fixing your sink so you helped him get away.

"I haven't checked that, but if anything they should have immortalized that apartment for posterity." Ben grins widely, his eyes awash with memories of a past long gone. "Do you have any idea what I did to-"

"Ah- no-" You put your fingers in your ears. "La la la la la."

Ben pulls out one of your fingers. "You're right, I don't need to tell you. Why don't we go back to our apartment and I can show you?" He steps closer to you, his grin dipping into a roughish smirk that makes his eyes glint with mischief.

"Oh hush." You place one hand on his chest, ignoring how good it feels under his hands and push him back. "We're here to get a couch."

"Fine. But I've got the perfect way to christen it when we get back." Ben winks.

You stare blankly at him, feigning confusion. "I didn't know you wanted to learn how to crochet that bad, but I've got enough yarn to show you when we get back."

"What?"

"I mean that is what I usually do on the couch. But don't worry, it's a lot easier than it looks." You shrug before grabbing a snake plant in a brightly colored orange pot and place it in the top part of the cart. You didn't have one at the apartment and it was supposed to make the air cleaner. Given how much weed Ben smoked, you figured the two of you could use it.

Or maybe a whole damn field of it.

You had already made the jasmine on the wall behind the t.v multiply exponentially to make up for the smell, but you didn't mind it. You'd also noticed that Ben seemed to be slowing down how much he was smoking. Whenever you went to Butcher's apartment in the past he always had a blunt, but in the past three days you'd only seen him with one a few times. You wondered why that was. Ben had told you before that it helped him with his PTSD, but you wondered what could have changed.

“You’re getting another plant?”

“Never ask me that question Gramps, not unless you want to get an ass-full of cactus.” You push the cart towards the food area intent on getting a coffee. This morning the two of you had been in a hurry and you hadn't been able to have one.

“Hello! How are you today?” The person behind the counter says with a wide smile. She was pretty, with thick light brown hair pushed back by a floral scarf and a large pair of hoop earrings.

See she took her happy pills. Now if only Ben would.

“I’m great how are you?” You smile back.

“I’m doing fantastic!” She beams. “What can I get you today?”

“Can I get a hazelnut coffee with cream and sugar please?”

“Okay." Her eyes flick back to where Ben is glowering behind you. "Does your boyfriend want anything?”

“Oh he’s not my-“ You begin to wave a hand.

“Can I get a black coffee?” Ben interrupts not bothering to correct her.

“Of course. Y’all are so cute.” She smiles typing something into her register. “You’ve got that height difference and everything.”

“No actually we’re not tog-“ You begin to say again, but Ben weaves his arm around your waist.

“Thank you.” Ben gives her a charming smile as he pulls your right hip back into his left. “We just moved in together. It’s a really big step, but I just couldn’t stay away from my girl.”

“Congratulations!”  Her eyes shift to the plant in the basket. “Aww and you guys are getting a plant. How wonderful!”

“Yeah it’s our love plant.” Your smile turns more into a snarl as you reach up and pinch Ben’s cheeks painfully between your fingers hoping that it hurts. “I’m trying to see if Benny-Wenny here can keep it alive. Because if he doesn’t then our love will die.” You say doing your best Kate Hudson impression. When you say die you emphasize the word by squeezing his cheeks again, but Ben only smiles around it, his eyes gleaming.

“Oh um- okay.” The girls smile drops just a watt sensing the tension between the two of you. “Well your total is 10.78.”

You reach for your phone preparing to use the Apple Pay function, but Ben hands the girl a twenty before you can.

“Aww and he pays too.” The girl coos looking like she’s going to swoon. “What a gentleman.”

Honey he’s about as far from a gentleman as you can imagine.

“I’m certainly going to make him.” You reply, elbowing him hard in the stomach. “Given what I have to go through.” You mutter that last part, earning a chuckle from Ben.

When you finally get your coffee you walk off, following the arrows on the ground to where the sleeper couches should be while sipping on your coffee with Ben walking next to you.

A comfortable silence builds between the two of you as you walk through the aisles, watching couples hold hands and point at dining room tables, children beg their parents for bunk beds, and teenagers play hide and seek.

One brushes past you making some of your coffee slosh over the rim of the cup onto your shirt, and continues to run, but he doesn't get far. Ben grabs the back of his shirt and hauls him back.

"Apologize." Ben growls narrowing his eyes at the kid who looks like he might cry.

"Ben it's okay-"

"I'm sorry." The boy says his eyes wide.

Ben drops him, satisfied with his answer, and the boy scampers off to his friends who all look back at Ben like he's crazy.

"You didn't have to do that." You say, wiping your finger at the stain on your white and black striped t-shirt. "He's just a kid."

"He should have apologized." Ben grunts handing you the napkin that's wrapped around his coffee.

"Thanks." You dab at the spot, but you know it won't do much use.

"The younger generation these days seems short on respect."

You snort out a laugh, balling the napkin up and toss it in a trashcan nearby. "Statements like that really age you Gramps."

"So does that fucking nickname." He sighs.

"You never told me your real name when we first met and I told you that I was going to come up with a fun nickname to call you. You can only blame yourself." You take the last sip of coffee, stepping off the path to examine a bright red couch that looks long enough for Ben to sleep on.

"What's wrong?" Ben asks.

"Huh?" You look up at him.

"You're making the face you always do when something is wrong."

You blink for a minute. Is he talking about what Annie calls my 'suffer in silence face?' How the hell does he know about that?

"I don't like the color." You say hesitantly.

"I don't either." Ben takes your empty coffee cup and throws it away with his. "What about that one?" He points at a soft black couch on the other side. It has a function that allows apart of the cushions to extend into a bed, easy to move in and out. You sit down.

"It's sort of comfy."

Ben sits down directly beside you, even though there's enough room for him to sit on the other side. "It's okay."

"What? Your butt isn't comfortable?" You tease him, elbowing him playfully.

Ben rolls his eyes at you. "Can't you take anything seriously?"

"What's the fun in that Gramps?" You sit back against the cushions. "But you're right. My butt is not pleased."

"What a shame. I'd hate for something so delicious be disappointed." Ben replies turning to look at you.

You ignore his comment. "Come on, let's go check that one."

As you go deeper and deeper into the bowels of IKEA, it begins to get colder and colder. Goosebumps pebble over your arms as you gaze down at the charcoal colored couch. You rub your hands up and down them to warm them up.

Why is it so damn cold in here? It’s not that hot outside!

More goosebumps erupt over your skin as you walk around the couch thinking that movement will help with the chill. And just as you come back around to the front of the couch, Ben’s leather jacket  drapes over your shoulders.

It’s too big for you, but you almost moan in relief as you sink into the warmth it holds. It was still warmed from Ben's body, and smelled exactly like his cologne. Something spicy and masculine that made you feel like you’d bought one of those cinnamon brooms sold around Christmastime.

You look up at him in surprise. “What about you?”

“I run hot.” He shrugs. “Plus I don't want you to turn into a popsicle.”

“Thank you.” You say too cold to argue as you put your arms through the sleeves that hang several inches past your hands.

Wow that's actually kind of sweet.

“Mhmm.” He grunts looking at the couch in front of you. “Kinda a shame though.”

“Huh?”

Ben leans back to look behind you with a mournful sigh. “It covers up your gorgeous ass.”

And he’s back.

“Why don’t you just-“

“Y/n!” You hear a familiar voice call cutting off your next words, and you turn towards it.

Jake is wheeling a cart towards the two of you, a collection of ceramic pots in his basket, waving his hand enthusiastically. “What are you doing here?” He’s smiling just as brightly at you as always, his hair swept back over his head, blue eyes filled with mirth.

“Be nice.” You mutter under your breath to Ben, who huffs in response. “Hey Jake. Ben and I were just looking at couches.”

“Couches?” Jake takes in your close proximity and the fact that you’re wearing Ben’s jacket. “Why?”

“Oh well-“

“For our apartment.” Ben says tightly, emphasizing the word 'our.' He’s frowning at Jake, eyes narrowed.

Why does he have such a problem with him?

“You guys are moving in together?” Jake looks confused, and if he clocks Ben’s rude attitude he doesn’t show it. “I thought you said that you just work together?”

“Why do you care plant boy?” Ben snaps.

“Ben!” You hiss, elbowing him hard. “I’m sorry Jake, you’ll have to excuse Gramps, he’s not used to talking to civilized people.” You turn to glare at Ben. “Why don’t you go look at that couch over there?”

“I’m comfortable here, thanks Petals.”

You continue to glare at him while Jake stands there awkwardly not sure what to say.

“Fucking fine.” Ben mutters under his breath and stomps off in the direction of a bright yellow couch that looks like it could sleep five people.

You turn back to Jake with an apologetic smile. “I’m so sorry-“

“It’s okay.” Jake smiles. “My sister is dating someone just like him. I’m used to it.”

I doubt she’s dating a horny 104 year old that’s been on ice for forty years and tortured in a Russian lab.

“What are you doing here?” You look down at his cart noting the ceramic planters.

"They're having a sale, thought we could use some new ones for display in the shop." Jake shrugs. "I see that you found a plant you like."

"Well you can never have too many." You smile.

"I completely agree." Jake glances over to where Ben is supposed to be trying out a brilliant yellow couch, and he is sitting on it, but he's glaring at Jake. "Um, well I guess I'll see you at work on Monday?"

"Yep I'll be there."

"Oh actually-" Jake pauses to clear his throat. "There's a plant show this weekend at the farmer's market by my apartment on Saturday morning. Did you want to come with me? It might be fun."

"Oh-um- I'm not sure. Butcher might have something to do for me to do on Saturday. And I'm sure you're plenty capable of picking out inventory." You smile at that last part. It was true, Jake always did a wonderful job of picking out plants for the shop. He'd never asked you to go with him before.

"Actually-" Jake rubs the back of his neck, cheeks flushed. "I-uh- didn't mean for inv-"

"I don't like this one Petals." Ben shouts from the other side of the room interrupting what Jake was going to say.

You turn to stare at him. He's still sitting on the brilliant yellow couch, his arms crossed over his chest, glaring at Jake.

He's such a toddler, can't sit still for two seconds.

You sigh and twist back to Jake. "I'm sorry he's a literal child. What were you saying?"

"I-" Jake clears his throat, smiling tightly. His eyes flick back to Ben's cold stare, before he looks back at you. "Nevermind. I'll see you at work on Monday okay?"

"Yeah okay." You hold up your hand in a wave as he turns and leaves, walking quickly away down the concrete path towards the front doors.

You stomp over to the couch where Ben is still glowering at Jake.

"I like the gray one better." Ben stands and points at the one you two had originally been standing at when Jake walked up.

"I can't believe you just did that. Why did you have to be so mean? He was just being nice, making conversation." You huff, planting your hands on your hips. "You're from the fucking '20s aren't you supposed to understand basic human decency instead of acting like a modern day fuck-boy?"

"I don't understand what that means. And I don't like him."

"Why? What has he done to make you hate him? You've barely said two words to him since you met four days ago."

"I just don't." Ben frowns at Jake's retreating figure, who does seem to be gaining some serious speed.

You couldn't blame him, Ben could look downright murderous when he wanted to. But you didn't understand why he hated Jake so much, why he couldn't stand to be around him. Jake was polite and kind, yes, two things opposite of Ben, but Jake hadn't done anything to make Ben hate him. You'd been present at both of their interactions and Jake hadn't said anything mean let alone frowned at Ben.

"He's my boss. And if we're going to be seen in public together sometimes you're going to have to try to make an effort to be nicer to him."

"Why?"

"Because I need that job Gramps! Butcher's pay sucks, and I don't have a bank account that has been gaining interest for eighty years, not to mention any money from being a supe or staring in ridiculous films. And if he fires me because of you I will send a Terminator into the past to kill your child self!" You poke him in the chest angrily, before you walk back over to the gray couch to lift the price tag up.

You try not to wince. It was a little more than what you had been prepared for, but Ben actually liked this one and he would be the one using it the most. It felt selfish to deprive him of that, especially since he'd been sleeping in a tank for the past forty years.

Maybe we should just buy him a bed for the living room and make that his room. It would be cheaper and I wouldn't have to give up name brand things. Your cheeks flush for a moment, realizing if you did that, you’d have to sit on Ben’s bed to watch tv. Oh yeah he’d love that. He would make so many jokes about how he finally got me into bed with him. Why did I agree to let him live with me again?

Ben looks at the price over your shoulder, noticing your reaction. "Don't worry about it."

"What?" You glance up at him surprised.

"I'll pay for it." Ben didn't look like he was kidding, his green eyes were focused on you, an unreadable emotion hidden behind them that you'd seen only a few times before. It was the same one that he'd had just before you left Butcher's apartment four days ago, the one Ben had when you said you were going to walk home alone, and the one that was so different than the angry or aroused one he had when he looked at you.

"No." You shake your head. "Ben that's crazy, I'm going to pay for some of it. I sit on that couch too-"

"Sorry Petals. I'm not going to let you pay for my bed." Ben smirks, and strokes his finger down your cheek. "But I'd love to have you join me in it."

You glare at him, leaning back so his hand falls from your face. "Ben I'm serious. I don't want you to have to pay for the whole thing."

"And I don't want you to pay for it."

"So you're saying that we're at a stalemate unless one of us is willing to commit a felony?"

"Why are you so against me paying for this? Are you going to yell at me again about the wonders of modern day feminism? Let me know now so I can rip my ears off in preparation."

"First of all, the outside of the ear is actually purely for show and made of cartiledge which means for you to avoid listening to me you would have to rip out the inside of your ears." You drop the finger you were holding up. "And second of all, it feels wrong because I use the couch when I crochet or when Annie and I drink wine, eat greasy pizza, and watch monster movies-"

"You guys get drunk and watch monster movies? Aren't women supposed to like sappy shit like Jane Austen?"

"I mean I love Mr. Darcy as much as anyone, but I'm not ashamed to admit my comfort movie is Jurassic Park. Something about them running around for their lives makes me feel better about mine."

Especially now that I have to deal with you all day long.

Ben blinks at you like he can't figure you out. Personally you were used to people looking at you that way.Weirdness was a privilege and you owned it, wore it like an eccentric billionaire's wife in a mink coat in the middle of summer.

"Petals." Ben says quietly, the look in his eyes shifts to something softer, something that you'd never seen before. Even the way he says the nickname is different, not the harsh way he says it or the teasing way, it's almost gentle. "I don't want you to worry about this. It's alright. I'm the one that barged in and made you let me live there. So I'm going to pay for it."

You bite the inside of your cheek, trying not to feel guilty. "Are you sure you're even okay with a sleeper couch? We could just get you a mattress."

"Nah. This one is comfortable." He nods his head in the direction of the gray couch.

"So what you're saying is," You smile as wide as you can poking him. "Your butt was comfy on that couch!"

Ben rolls his eyes. "Come on let's go, before Jake comes back and tries to ask you out again."

"He was not trying to ask me out, he was just being friendly." You roll your eyes at him as you take a picture of the tag, trying not to let Ben get to you.

"I hate to break this to you Petals, but that's exactly what he was doing." He replies. "I told you that he wanted to fuck you." Ben almost sing-songs.

"No he wasn't." You stop for a minute, back straightening. "Wait. Is that why you interrupted him?" You turn around so that you're looking at Ben again. "Because you thought he was asking me out?"

Wait a minute, was he trying to get Jake to leave so he wouldn't ask me out. Is that why Ben hates him so much? Because he's jealous? There's no way-

"No." Ben says it immediately, jaw tightening.

"Holy Shit. You're jealous!" You cackle.

"No I'm not."

“Ben why are you jealous? We aren’t together. We aren’t having sex-“

“We could be! And I'm not jealous of that fucking dandy."

“I don’t understand why you’re so attached to the idea of us sleeping together.“

“And I don’t understand why you're pretending to be so against it.”

"I'm not pretending and I'm not going to get into this argument with you again." You say exaggerating your frown.

"Deny it all you want Petals, but I know your tell." His eyes flick to the scrunch between your eyebrows. "So grab your stupid plant and let's go." He turns and moves to follow the arrows on the ground out towards the exit.

"Ben I'm serious, why are you jealous?" You jog to catch up with him, the cart rolling smoothly against the concrete floors.

"I'm not and I'm done talking about this with you!"

"Uh-huh. Sure." You begin to prance behind the cart. "You're jealous! You loooovvveee meee." You tease him.

Ben whirls around so fast, bending down towards you so close you can feel his breath against your lips, the teasing mood in your veins quickly shifting to something else. You're suddenly thankful that you picked a plant that didn't have the possibility of producing flowers, because they would be in full bloom. The close proximity of Ben to you made it impossible to think, not when you were inhaling his hypnotic scent with every breath, and not when his lips were only inches from yours.

Ben's mouth pulls up in a smirk as his emerald gaze locks with yours. He's so close that you can see the soft cinnamon colored freckles flecked across his cheeks and see the circle of gold in his eyes that seems to make your knees weak.

"Love doesn't have anything to do with it, doesn't have anything to do with what I want to do to you." He breathes, his voice dropping into the deep rumble that makes everything else vanish away. "And I'm not jealous of him doll. Anything that he can do to you, I can do better, longer, and harder. You just say the word, and you won't even remember him, let alone remember your own name."

You can't find the words to reply, the memory of Ben kissing you is everywhere, crackling along your skin, thrumming in your veins, and buried in your bones.

"Now come on. I want to look at bookshelves." Ben pulls back with a wide smirk, hearing your heart beat begin to kick up.

"Wait what?" Your voice sounds small when you find it.

"Your stack of books is annoying me."

"What do you mean? You mean the stack of books in my bedroom that you're never supposed to set foot in is annoying you?"

"Mhmm."

"I am perfectly capable of buying my own bookshelf thank you."

"Then why haven't you?"

"Because I had more important things to do-"

Like paying for electricity and buying cat food.

"Uh-huh. Well I don't have anything to do because all my drinking buddies died forty fucking years ago."

"You're not serious. You're not going to buy me a bookshelf." You say in shock.

Why in the fuck does he care about that? It's my room, he doesn't have to do that.

"Yes I am. That stack of books is ridiculous and pointless."

"That could be the name of my autobiography." You roll your eyes. It was a joke that Annie and you often used when you hung out together. Because what was the point of life without a little bit of self-deprecating humor?

Ben stops walking and turns around to look at you. "You might be ridiculous Petals, but you're not pointless. Don't you ever say anything like that around me ever again." He looks almost angry at the thought.

You inhale a sharp breath surprised. "Ben I wasn't being serious it's just a joke. Annie and I-"

"I don't care." He's still frowning at you. "I don't want you to make that kind of joke around me okay?"

You can't respond to that, only nod.

I have no idea what is going on.

All day Ben had been surprising you, hell, when he moved in a few days ago he surprised you. He was acting like he actually gave a shit, not just that he wanted to sleep with you, but that he genuinely wanted to be apart of your life, almost like a friend. You knew that maybe it was ridiculous to think that, but something deep down made you think it was true. That Ben really was making an effort to be better around you. But you had no idea why.

"So I'm going to buy a bookshelf no matter what you say, and you can either tell me which one to get or I'm gonna get you the ugliest son of a bitch here." Ben says smiling. "What will it be?"

You stand there looking at him, still mildly surprised, until you point at a dark brown wooden bookshelf with glass doors.

"Good. Now let's get the fuck out of here, before I grow a pussy."

A/N: Life changing trip to IKEA, because why not? Again more fluff and domestic Ben, NOT ASHAMED. But I will say that there will be a buildup to more angst and drama in a few chapters that will move the story along. I promise I have a plan for this one. And that plan includes dark and angsty things because we all know I can't seem to escape that. 😭

Thank you so much for reading!! If you'd like to be added to my taglist please let me know :)

Taglist:

@roseblue373 @mrsjenniferwinchester @corruptedcruiser @winchesterwild78 @the-super-who-locked-wizard

@criminalyetminimal @52ndstreeet @bitchykittenconnoisseur @anna6307 @libby99hb

@faephoria @possiblyafangirl @jqtaro @quietlybitchy @tinydancer40

@roger-that-cap @megara0224 @miskwaadesiwag @rainyeggvoidpurse

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@acciosherlockholmes @minas-fantasies

[tiddygame]

ghost’s civilian wardrobe is nothing but hawaiian shirts. soap is in utter disbelief the first time he sees it. ghost says they’re good bc:

it’s so fucking ugly, no one can stand to look at it for too long so he doesn’t draw attention

No one thinks the ghost would wear something so bright and stupid meaning he’s completely under cover every time he’s on leave

they’re cheap and an easy thrift

but he just really fucking likes how goddamn ugly they are

…

at least, that’s what he tells soap. and himself. in reality, they were always tommy’s thing. he always wore them to the point everyone knew that the safest gift to get him was the ugliest patterned shirts they could find. in every family photo, tommy was the easiest to spot with the brightest eye sore worn proudly with a smile.

after that cold night in december, all of their stuff was either donated or thrown away.

one day, ghost was thrift shopping (because even though now he had more money, habits from being raised in a poor home die hard) and saw one of them. he froze. at first, he thought it was just one that looked similar. but when he inspected it, it even had that old tear tommy had gotten simon to fix and sew up for him.

he grabbed it in a daze. he searched every rack in that store and found a few more hawaiian shirts. if they were tommy’s or not didn’t matter. he bought them. for days, he hunted through every thrift store in town buying every stupid patterned shirt he saw.

knowing that the few shirts he collected was the only thing he had left of his baby brother finally broke him. he probably looked insane, sitting in his old beat up pickup truck, surrounded by shopping bags from different stores, crying into a yellow and orange button up with flowers on it, and one sewn up tear on the sleeve. but it was tommy’s. and it was all he had.

at first, they were hidden away in a box. he lied to himself that it was because he wanted to keep them safe, but in reality, he couldn’t look at them without either wanting to cry or punch holes in the wall.

but, one christmas, he finally pulls his head out of his ass and grabs them. visits the cemetery in a stupid yellow and orange monstrosity of a shirt and complains that tommy couldn’t have had a better fashion sense.

he wears another when he has to go grocery shopping. and again when he runs errands. and again. and again. and again.

the first time one of them got something on it, he almost cried and pulled every trick his mother taught him about removing stains. the shadow of it persisted but the pattern covered most of it.

eventually, they became a staple of his wardrobe.

years later, soap watched ghosts careful routine he had for washing the shirts. they were always washed separately on delicate and air dried with routine inspections for any holes or tears. it would click later, when finding an old family photo, one with a young boy on simon’s shoulders and another man next to him in a familiar yellow and orange shirt, that perhaps simon hadn’t been entirely truthful when he said he just liked them.

simon was scared the first time soap did his laundry, but johnny always washed them with the same level of care, following the exact same routine. he still made fun of him (lovingly, of course), saying that crimes against fashion must run in the family.

…

and further down the line, years later, they will be old and graying with wrinkles, wearing matching hawaiian shirts. johnny will complain about how ugly they are yet will still wear it happily (and tune out simon reminding him that it was johnnys idea to start matching)

[cherriesformatt]

collab of the year || matt sturniolo

matt x fem!reader

summary: matt invites you to meet some friends

warnings: none I think maybe a little suggestive

word count: 1,2k

a/n: hope you like this one

I was in my bed scrolling through twitter and all I had on my page was videos and pictures from Tara's party. Which Chris and Nick attended while me and Matt had a little gateway trip for our anniversary. They called him on FaceTime and that ended up in Tara's vlog. Everyone thinks it was hilarious including me. I also loved all of the memes with Matt going to bed while the party was happening.

When we came back boys told us about everyone and that they really had fun. I was really happy about that because they usually don't really go out that much. Especially not to parties.

I stopped scrolling when I felt arms around my body.

"Good morning" I heard Matt's raspy, morning voice.

I smiled when I felt little kisses on the back of my neck sending shivers down my body.

"Morning..." I said and turned around to face him.

I smiled when he opened his eyes.

"I am surprised it's like 9 and you're up" I laughed and fixed his hair from his eyes.

"Well...I have things to do" He said and smiled.

"Like what?" I raised my eyebrow.

"Like...you" He pulled me to himself even more and I was about to kiss him when I heard loud knocks on the door.

"Are you guys up? And dressed? Can I come in?" Chris said from the other side of the door and I looked at Matt and kissed his cheek and moved away a little.

"Yes... come in" I said and Matt growled and covered his head with a pillow.

Chris came into the room and looked at us.

"I have news!" He sat on the bed next to Matt.

"Me too, I actually hate you both right now" Matt said and threw the pillow from his face at Chris.

I rolled my eyes and sat up. I put my hair into the bun and looked at Chris.

"What is it?" I asked.

"Tara invited us for dinner to celebrate 1 mil, she wants us to meet Johnnie. Jake, Larray, Sam and Colby are going to be there too. Nick also said that they can come over here after dinner and we could hang out. y/n you will finally meet Tara!" Chris said.

I looked at him. Pure panic in my eyes. I need to clean up this place.

"Well... Then I should start to clean already" I said. That was kinda my thing. Cleaning when I am stressing out.

I spent half of my day cleaning the house, even if it was already pretty clean. Boys helped me a little, mostly Matt. Chris said he is going to clean his own room. Do I believe him? No.

"So should I like match the energy and go all black?" I asked Matt going through my clothes. I already did my make up and was standing in my underwear trying to find something I like.

"I already told you, wear whatever feels like good for you" He said looking at his PC.

"I hate men" I said dramatically and texted Nick to come downstairs.

He walked into the room and looked at me.

"Wow... I bet the other triplet does not get this view. All because I'm gay, how lucky..." He said sarcastically.

"I get more than that..." Matt blinked at him with a smirk on his face.

"Shut the fuck up, my room is above you, I fucking know" He said.

"What do I wear? Help me…He is useless" I looked at Nick pointing at Matt.

"Can't you wear that dress you bought last time we went thrift shopping? And the platform docs with it" He said and went to my jewelry box.

"Those are cool, wear this too" He put a chain and some small hoops on the dresser.

"Thank you Nick" I smiled at him and started to put the outfit together.

"See learn that for the next time" I told Matt when his brother left the room.

"Just to be sure... Did Chris saw you in your underwear?" He asked and I laughed. Can't believe he was still thinking about it.

"Probably? I don't know, who cares...Matt maybe I am just going to stay home" I said and sat on the bed.

"You literally need to stop overthinking that. You know that I also am not a fan of big groups but this people are really cool and chill. It's gonna be okay" He looked at me and smile.

"You look beautiful as always and everyone is going to love you" He stood up from his chair and came up to me.

He put both of his hands on my cheeks and gave me a quick kiss. I smiled and wrinkled my nose.

"Alright..alright.. you will ruin my make up Matthew" I took his hands of my face giving him one more quick kiss.

The dinner went great. They all were really nice. Me and Matt were the only couple there so sometimes they made little jokes about it. I felt very welcome even if I wasn't part of their world. I tried to stay out from the cameras usually. But I didn't want to be rude so when they were filming stories I was on it. I was kinda stressing about people talking shit about me.

When we came to our house and at first we talked and played games together. Then we decided to go to topgolf but before that they wanted to film some TikToks.

"You and Matt are literally a goal couple. He is just so sweet checking on you all the time. Look at him he is scared I'm going to eat you" Tara said to me and I laughed.

"Yes.. he is the best" I looked at Matt with a big smile.

"Do you wanna film TikTok with me? I love your outfit so much" She asked me and i said "fuck it if tara yummy asks you to make a TikTok with her you make a TikTok with her" in my head.

"Okay...I usually only post for my friends but if you want I'm in" I smiled.

We decided to use "Tara Yummy is a mindset" audio since we kinda match with our outfits. She was a real sweetheart and such a funny person. They all were.

"I am really glad you are having fun tonight" Matt said while we were driving to top golf. He put his hand on my knee and smiled.

"It's really fun I'm glad we are doing this. And that you guys are meeting more people" I said and looked at the back at his brothers.

"Girl your and Taras TikTok is so viral" Nick showed me and my eyes went big for the numbers.

"Fuck... that's crazy" I said and Chris laughed.

"Told you that you should start to film as well" He said.

"No thank you..I just couldn't say no to Tara" I laughed.

Topgolf was souper fun. I won with Matt for the first time since forever so I was so happy. Everyone had so much fun and we filmed a lot. Boys were teaching Tara how to play and she looked so cute with the club because she is just so small.

"Matt is sad because his girlfriend is better than him" Jake said while we were on our way to the cars.

"Poor Matty" Chris made a sad face.

I laughed at them and looked at Matt. He just shook his head.

"Well...he is a winner anyways, he has the hottest girl in town, I dare you to show her to the world Matt" Tara said and I blushed.

I BLUSHED. WTF

"Are you flirting with me?" I looked at her and she laughed.

I might have a new best friend.

[k0ff1n]

Skully headcanons (both general and relationship stuff)

The parts with the reader are gender neutral, also there is a point that could be considered nsfw I think but it's really just general stuff so nothing much really.

-English isn't my first language so sorry if there are errors and other stuff that simply ain't right and I hope you enjoy :)

+So first of all we know that he isn't from the world that hosts Halloween town, meaning he doesn't dress like that... probably. Personality wise I'd say that he only has energy when he is 𝘢𝘤𝘵𝘶𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 excited about something, usually a topic that he really likes, but other than that he'd probably be kind of laid back. Like the Kaworu Nagisa type of laid back, he talks and stuff, nods and smiles but doesn't really express emotions in a really... 𝘴𝘢𝘵𝘶𝘳𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘥 𝘸𝘢𝘺 (this phrase makes sense in my head please bare with me).

+Now I fully believe that he probably dresses in two ways, no in between. We can have the fancy version of him, probably on those days where he feels motivated enough to wear something nice, and those are the only times where he wears some type of goth outfit, then we have the 𝘶𝘴𝘶𝘢𝘭 version of him, the one where he's probably wearing a random cardigan with the most hideous Halloween design anyone's ever seen in their entire live. You know those 90s cardigans, the hand knitted ones with the different patterns randomly sprinkled on the base, yeah, those beauties.

+Now let's be sincere, he's probably autistic. He seems to not really understand "standard" social cues, like when he kisses everyone's hand and they are basically disgusted, also when in Halloween town he hugs grim and Epel(?) just because of how excited he is and they are 𝘤𝘭𝘦𝘢𝘳𝘭𝘺 dying inside but he doesn't even seem to notice lol. Now the most noticeable part is also the one where he only talks about Jack and the related festivity, it literally feels like a special interest, the kind that sticks with you for all your life and you can't really get out of your sistem. Also we know that no one really likes him or talks to him in his real world, which is unfortunately the reality of many neurodivergent people, often considered weird or annoying by others. I mean all the neurodivergent people I've met always had similar experiences, me included so yeah, I mean he also basically states that so.

+With this said I imagine him to be the type of person that tries to keep his interests to himself but fails horribly every time someone gets close enough and he thinks he can finally open himself up. Now we all know how that would end (not in a nice way) , meaning that he probably hides himself in the realities from different books and movies he likes. I firmly believe that the reason he was so happy to finally be in Halloween town was because he imagined so many times to live there without the trouble of other negative people that he felt as if he actually belonged somewhere for once.

+Now since this is getting depressing I'd say that if he had a partner he would probably need someone that either shares the same type of interests as him or simply has enough time to listen to him rant about his hyperfixations. I'd say that the first one would probably still be better because he'd feel as if someone finally understands him and gets why he likes certain things so much.

+Probably collects weird and creepy things, could be old stuff he found in a thrift shop or taxidermies he made himself or bought from some shop on Etsy lol. I see him as the type of guy to yes, love Halloween, but only a certain types of decorations, I mean the old/vintage type would be perfect but if you ever try to get him close to a basic plastic pumpkin (like the basket kind for trick or treat) he would probably start talking in an annoyed and frustrated way about how society ruined the original version of the holiday and stuff like that.

+Type of guy to listen to those long ass YouTube videos with the low quality image as thumbnail that last for more than two hours but include old songs that no one ever listened to, probably including the ones that 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘥𝘶𝘤𝘦𝘥 those songs.

+If he actually had a partner he would probably be clingy af, not in an annoying way but like a cat that's always around you way. I don't think that in public he would display that much affection, probably afraid of other people seeing him and judging once again, but when in private he would probably be constantly near you or touching you somehow, be it hugging you when watching a scary movie on the couch or if he's helping cooking something and suddenly you feel him speak in you ear, scaring the shit out of you because he somehow doesn't make any noise when walking.

+Has the worst eye bags you've ever seen in your life, the type that even if you put a red base and then the green and concealer or whatever they 𝘯𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘳 fade away. They would probably only make him look good considering that be surely (to me at least so sshhh) wears at least a little eyeliner or eyeshadow. I dont think he was dry lips, even if the og image gives that impression I have a feeling that it's like those cracked type of lipsticks that you put on in layers and stuff.

+One again, if you share interests he would probably sing various tunes with you, be it the songs form the nightmare before Christmas or things like confrontation form the Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde musical. I can see him dramatically move around his room while singing a certain part and then looking at you like you hung the starts in the sky when you start singing the next part, even if you suck it doesn't matter really.

+I don't think that he's asexual but at the same time I don't think he'd be really interest in sex stuff anyway, like maybe sometime but more like vanilla things, he doesn't even look like he has the energy to keep up any fancy type of performance let's be fr. Would kiss you and whatever, sometimes make out if you have the time and actually feel like doing something like that, but generally I don't think that he would care much about there things.

+Probably has a pet, not sure which one but the possibilities are: a cat, more cats, rats (named Jack and Sally obvs) or some type of ferret. Not really a dog type of person even if he likes Zero. He probably doesn't have the energy to keep up with an animal like that even if he wants to.

[sanzaibian]

April 7th

Hey journal !

This is going to be hard to write… but I’ve decided to write down my experiences in this little journal I just bought for like, $7 at the local thrift shop, so here I go.

So, I’m Jay Callaghan, a 25 year old student in STAPS, hoping to become a physiotherapist (hope when I read that in 10 years I won’t be embarrassed !), and I’m gay. Like, very gay, nothing in me for girls. But… let’s just say than in sports studies, being gay isn’t well seen. So I keep my hookups on the down low, and avoid talking about that part of myself to anybody else.

And to be honest, it really drives me mad. I’m always double-checking that I’m not too faggy for their eyes, I’m always fidgety when discussions shift towards recent “conquests”, and I feel like I just miss out on so many things. I mean, it has only been, like, a year and a half since I fully accepted that I’m gay ? But still, the impostor syndrome has never faded, and by now, I just want it to stop.

By the way, here’s a photo of what I look like :

Dare I say I look pretty hot ? Well, this just makes things worse, actually. Because then the guys are always like “Yeah, look at Jay, he must be pounding so much pussy” or something… I just want to scream to them that no ! I’m very much very pounded ! And that’s not to say there aren’t people drooling over me ! There are ! But they all hail from the wrong gender !

However, recently I heard about the brand new Conversion Powder by Eamora Co., some kind of drug made by that unknown pharmaceutical company. What’s special about this powder is that it advertises itself as actually being able to change sexuality, so to make someone straight. Now, don’t get me wrong, I wholly support LGBT rights and want for any kind of conversion to be willful – so, like, not conversion therapy. Plus, both the instructions manual and the few reviews I found said that the powder must be taken once a day for the effect to persist. So it’s not as if it was an effective conversion therapy. But… I feel like things would be so much easier if I was straight. I wouldn’t be in constant fear, I would feel included with the other guys, and I would just be normal for once.

So yeah. I just want to end this by giving out my opinions on men and women :

Men are so fucking hot, well-built muscles, with big juicy pecs and a great six-pack invites licking, the hose downstairs is the work of god, and I just want to rub myself against it, accept it in my mouth and in my ass. Women… are just women. I guess they do have pec-like stuff, but they’re just so stuffy, and big and all. Plus, they just aren’t interesting in terms of attractiveness ? Not to shit on them, but just not my thing.

Yeah, let’s see how well it ages. I’m taking the Conversion Powder right now.

The evening

Okay, so I think from now on I should write on the evenings, because this way I can recap the events of the day while they’re still fresh in my mind. Plus, when class starts again tomorrow, it’s going to be a pain to write in the mornings.

So let’s start with when I took the powder. As the instructions asked, I put it in a glass and mixed it with water, to drink. At first, nothing happened, but then I started getting a headache, and felt quite dizzy for a while. I don’t know how long, because I didn’t record myself, and I know that my sense of time probably got warped, but it did feel long. And then, it just cleared, like magic.

To be honest, it was very underwhelming. I thought that something would happen to signal if it worked or not, but I decided to still test out if it actually worked. So I opened straight porn, and there the magic occurred.

By instinct, I started by watching the guy, but honestly, he just felt boring at first. I tried to see how hot he was, because I could tell he was attractive indeed, but it just felt… wrong to think of him as attractive. Which was unsettling in its own right. But then came the woman, and let me just say that : she was heavenly. She had tanned skin that ran along her beautiful curves, skimpy black leather pants and bra that espoused her big hips and breasts, and long black hair flowing over her back, waving in such a tasteful manner ! My dick was immediately woken up in quite the surreal moment, and I couldn’t help my self.

I beat myself off furiously at her being railed.

And I don’t even feel bad about that. I even printed out one of her photos to remind myself of her… God, my dick is awake once again by once again seeing her !

After that, I must admit that I spent a lot of time gooning myself on all the stuff I missed out on when I didn’t like women. I even almost forgot to eat lunch !

The afternoon, I decided to go on a walk outside, to see if anything different happened, and honestly… once again, it was quite underwhelming. I really don’t know what I expected, taking this powder for me to be this underwhelmed ! It only advertised that it would turn people straight, and this is what it did ! On a technical sense. Because I may be, in fact, straight at the minute, but I don’t feel straight. I… don’t know how to articulate that, I think I’ll have a better answer to that question when I’ve spent more time on the powder.

So yeah, what I wanted to write is that, when I was walking in the neighborhood, I did have the same experiences as watching the porn : I felt it was weird to conceive of men as a subject of attraction, and I paid more attention to women, but nothing more, really.

Well, nothing much more to say, I guess ! I’ll continue taking it, because it doesn’t seem dangerous, and since I’m closeted it shouldn’t change much.

April 8th

This morning I took again a Conversion Powder, and although I did feel quite dizzy taking it, it was nowhere as much as last time. That does comfort me since if I do decide to stick with this, it won’t be that annoying after a while. I read up on how it works to see if these headaches are normal, but aside from the few internet theoreticians, I haven’t found anything tangible… Nobody really knows anything about it, plus Eamora Co. is basically a completely unknown entity, so I can’t really get to the bottom of this. I guess this here diary may be the current best source for how the Conversion Powder works ?

But the most important thing today was getting back to school. And honestly, there I found that the changes were more substantial. I don’t know if it’s because I have also been on it yesterday, but it felt much easier to get into the skin of the typical straight guy. I didn’t have to worry about seeming too gay, because I technically am not, meaning that the school experience was a lot more peaceful. I also felt more included during the locker room talks. It’s crazy, because when they started to talk about boobs, my dick just hardened ! They mocked me, of course, I felt quite ashamed, but a good kind of ashamed. Like I’m actually having a normal reaction !

God, here I am writing about that kind of stuff… Well, to whoever might read that (me included), I have a duty to present everything of note ! So you’re going to have to bear with the stuff I already know I’ll find cringey in a few months’ time.

So yeah. On that, I’ll go to sleep.

April 9th

Man, I want to cross out the whole section about the powder on the web I wrote yesterday. And also the “I’ll go to sleep”. I’m not talking to anyone !

But yeah, today, the Conversion Powder made the media rounds.

And the rounds it made, in barely a day ! We got LGBT associations speaking out for its immediate discontinuing, far-right think tanks asking for it to be included in all school and high school meals, and politicians scrambling to state their opinion. It kinda feels bad for me to be technically not aligned with the LGBT associations, since I’m taking it, but this was my choice. I’m deciding to become straight, and my current experiences point that it was a good one. I’m feeling more and more connected with my bros (yes ! I can actually call them that, now !), and everyone who I knew before taking the powder say that I’ve recently been in a better mood than usual.

However, I won’t tell others that I’ve been taking it. I was closeted, and I don’t want people to think that I’m self-hating or something… I guess I kinda was, but that’s not the point I was getting at. The point I’m getting at is that I don’t fit the new stereotype of Conversion Powder-takers that is forming, and I don’t want people to think I do.

Also, even if more attention has been shed on Eamora Co. and the powder, there still is no good answer to the questions I wrote down yesterday.

Better news, though : today when taking the Conversion Powder, I almost didn’t feel dizzy at all ! It’s almost as if my body has fully acclimated to the Conversion Powder. If it’s how it works, honestly. However… I feel like I don’t have anything much to say about that ? I know, I know, such an earth-shattering change occurred in me, and two days in I don’t have anything to say about it ? I guess reality do be like that…

April 10th

Yes, I didn’t write much cringey yesterday !

But yeah, nothing much happened today, as do Wednesdays usually do. Though I guess I must mention that on the bus there was a really hot woman, I couldn’t get my eyes out of her. After a while of me basically staring at her though, I noticed that she knew I was looking at her, so I looked elsewhere. I guess, now, I understand the straight male experience, since I indulged in the same kind of creepy behavior… that is something I’ll need to fix.

About Eamora Co., they put out a statement saying that their product is ethical, and does not constitute a danger for the LGBT community. Although I’m technically on their side, let me say I’m calling bullshit on that. Seeing how potent this powder is, it’s easy for bad actors to drug gay and bi people without their consent, and even though they can fight against this kind of drugging, this kind of practice could very well lead into them assuming they were actually straight all along.

Here you go, let me step out of my soapbox.

April 11th

Okay, so, you know, Abby… No, I guess you don’t know, checking back I didn’t talk about her at all in this diary.

So, Abby was (and still is) a good friend in my university. She doesn’t study the same stuff as I do, but we got to know each other in business management class. We hit it off quite well, even though I wouldn’t call her my best friend by any stretch (I had much closer friends back in high school), she went along well with my way of being.

But here comes the catch.

Now that I’m straight, I’ve noticed that she… is actually quite well-endowed. Plus, over the last few days I would even dare say that she’s actually… cute. I mean, look at her and dare not tell me that she’s not cute !

Okay, I do realize that no one is gonna answer me here… but still ! Diary ! Or anything ! Agree with me !

I think this means that I may be having my first straight crush… on who was basically my only true friend in this university… not the best look. But at least it proves that the powder converts both sexual and romantic attraction ! It’s a good observation to include in this diary.

So yeah… gonna see how it evolves…

April 13th

Oops, I forgot to write, yesterday !

So I just hung out more with the bros, it’s been so fun to just… chit-chat with them ! I feel like we have a real connection, like they get me, like I get them. That’s something I could never have had when I was gay, I was forced to just stay out of the loop with everyone. I’m glad I’ve decided to start going on the conversion powder, because now I can finally get to live a normal life ! … not to insult my former comrades, of course.

But with Abby… I must admit I’m not proud of myself, because I basically avoided her for the past few days… I’m getting so flustered when I’m with her, it’s really embarrassing, but now I fear she thinks I’m abandoning her… I’m also being so obvious ! Like, this morning Abby walked in front of me when I was hanging out with my bros, going to some kind of economy class, and I just blushed to hell ! The bros all clocked that I have a crush on her, and I fear she might too ! God, so embarrassing !

Tomorrow, since it’s Sunday, I don’t have class, so the bros asked me to go to the gym with them, and I’m 95% sure they’re gonna cook me alive for having that damn crush…

Help !

April 15th

I forgot to write yesterday again… I was so tired from the very intensive sesh that we had that I just went straight to dine and sleep, so give me a break, diary.

So, as I predicted… Saturday, the guys cooked me, and cooked me hard. They were like “why don’t you talk to her”, “you’ve seen her look”, “do the first move” and all, it was quite overwhelming while we were working out… But they were basically saying that I shouldn’t hesitate to ask her out, as even if it doesn’t work out there’s other girls to find…

God, this is the kind of advice that I would never have had if I was having a gay crush. Nobody would be there to be excited for me, they would all be uninterested to disgusted, and none could give me advice for how to do… because the only people who could would be the very kind I may want to woo !

So yeah. Out of my soapbox, today I talked to Abby… and I couldn’t do it. I chickened out, I didn’t ask her out… Like, I was just about to ! But then somebody let their coat drop, and Abby, kind soul she is, picked it up for them… and after that, my courage just disappeared, and I just brought up the topic of the Conversion Powder and the whole drama.

Yeah. About the Conversion Powder drama.

So, let’s just say that it got heated, and it became the controversy that everyone was talking about. I don’t know what my country will choose as a way forward, but some have already chosen to outlaw it… and the usual suspects have made it official “prescription” to “cure” gayness. I’m against both options, and although I think none will be taken by our government, they currently haven’t chosen a stance… I’ll keep a close eye on it, because I’d hate for my experiment to be cut short just because of them deciding for me…

April 16th

This time, I didn’t miss a day ! Yay !

So… I asked Abby out.

It was as if the stars aligned. Today she dressed in very hot clothes, and we had class together both before and after lunch. So I took the opportunity to ask her to meet with me at the park. But then, at the afternoon, it started raining… I was afraid that our meet-up would have to be canceled, but just before it was time to end the classes, the sky cleared up ! So we went to the park, and my favorite bench in front of the pond was free ! We sat together, and there, I asked her if she wanted to go out with me.

And she said yes !

God, it feels so good ! My first ever date, and not hookup !

I’m just buzzing with excitement, we’re gonna see each other this Saturday afternoon after class ! I’m already envisioning it : first we get together in a cafe, then we go to the park and visit its zoo at the same time ! It’s going to be perfect !

I’m so ready for it !

April 17th

So, I’ve told the bros the good news… and somehow, the conversation drifted on clothes, and we realized that I don’t really have any “date” clothes – or at least, not straight date clothes. They said that it wouldn’t go, and Terry and Joe took me this afternoon to the shops, as they said that, as “pussyhounds” they know what makes girls go apeshit. There, they encouraged me to buy a nice black dress shirt, dark blue jeans and a fancy belt, so now they’ve been added to my wardrobe. They also told me to prepare some cologne, a golden chain and a fancy watch, because they said that it’s the kind of details women always pay attention to, but I already have some of those, so I’m covered.

I guess I’m ready for my date ?

April 20th

Fuck, I forgot again twice to write in this diary. I guess I should only write in it when there’s something interesting happening, because I only seem to remember writing in it when something involving my newfound straightness happens…

So yeah. The date with Abby was magical. Never have I ever been more glad to have made the choice to become straight. When we met up, she was just fabulous. Dressed impeccably, in a way that, yes, made her boobs pop out wonderfully, but it also made her beautiful eyes twinkle, her luscious lips glow and her fluffy hair shine. And the way she walked, so agile, so dainty… Bro, there’s nothing that can capture how beautiful she is ! And she’s also so smart, and such good company ! We talked for hours, made cute poses in front of the animals, and even stayed together for dinner – although we went out to McDonald’s, not enough money nor organization to go to a fancier place.

Perfect ! Absolutely perfect !

This is the kind of experiences normal men have ! And they’re so much richer than anything these gay hookups ever gave me !

Taking the Conversion Powder was the best decision in my life !

May 4th

May the force be with you ! haha

It’s been two whole weeks since I last wrote in this diary, it was time for me to give you an update, diary.

The last two weeks have been hell, because it’s exam season. So between studying, working out and dates with Abby, I haven’t had time for anything ! Bro, even my dates were study dates ! But otherwise… Everything’s going swimmingly ! I’m pulling along with my bros, and my relationship with Abby is going wonderfully !

Really, I know I’m writing the same thing again and again, but ever since I became straight, everything has become better ! Like, I’m better as a straight guy than I would ever have been as a gay guy, I’m sure of that ! It’s… even becoming kinda weird to think of myself as ever being gay, honestly...

God, it’s so refreshing to be normal !

May 6th (the morning)

A bit of a weird update, this morning before my last exam, because… er… we had sex yesterday.

So here’s how it went. Yesterday, we had another study date, but this time at my place. It was boring, of course, but to get out of the boredom we decided to make some raunchy remarks in-between economics and anatomy. And it made us both quite horny… well, at least it made me quite horny, because my dick was just rock hard, ready to squirt by the end of the session… And then we continued the remarks, without interruption… I got closer to her, started touching her, she started touching me, and then the clothes started coming down…

And you kinda know how it goes, but for me it was special. Because I have a ton of sex experience, but none when it comes to shoving my dick in a hole. I did have quite a good time eating her pussy, wayyyyyy tastier tasty than dick mind you, and she did make me come by giving me a blowjob, but then came time to do the deed. I put my condom on, and then honestly… it was a blast. I came just naturally once I had my dick inside her pussy, I just thrusted, and thrusted and thrusted, a ton of times, as if I was plowing her. She was orgasming, I was orgasming, and when we finally came, we just laid there, cuddling, until we both began sleeping.

I’m writing that as she’s taking her shower, just after my Conversion Powder drink, so I won’t be able to write too much, but really… it was the best sex I ever had. Hands down. Really, it feels like straight sex has been designed to happen, unlike anal, blowjobs and all. God, I’m so glad to have taken the powder !

May 8th

Okay okay okay, BIG NEWS !

This afternoon, Abby and I went to a date in the park, and guess what – I mean, a diary isn’t gonna answer me, but yeah. Abby asked if I wanted to be her boyfriend !

It made me just so happy ! Like, finally for the first time ever I have an actual relationship ! I have a girlfriend !

I’ll announce it to everyone ! Well, I kinda already have, but I thought after that that I should write it down here. I’m becoming the model straight guy, and I couldn’t be more up for that !

May 19th

Everything is going for the best, a month and a half in ! (about)

I think I’m gonna stop writing in this book, because I think there’s nothing I can write in it that’s new ! I’m a normal straight guy with a steady relationship with my beautiful girlfriend, Abby, and I hope – and think – that we’re going endgame. Like she’s so beautiful and she goes along with me so well, you can’t understand !

I’m also bulking thanks to all the workout I get with the bros, here, look at that photo :

Oh yeah, I did decide to cut down my hair. It was so long, it was bothersome, and I already have Abby, so I don’t need to look attractive to anybody, just to her. Plus, it made me look faggy, even though I’m straight.

So yeah, you can guess I’m a living example of why the Conversion Powder is a good thing for people who want it ! I’m so happy, and I have found the love of my life ! It almost feels like it was meant for me to be straight !

So… goodbye, I guess ? Or to next time something worth writing about happens ?

June 1st

I thought I wouldn’t ever touch this diary again, but today I saw a ton of pictures on the internet saying happy Pride Month, and… it made me feel empty inside.

I remember last year when I went to local Pride, it made me feel so… not alone ? Like I was part of something bigger, of a community of people who suffer the same kind of things as I do. But when I see all those pictures, I just feel like it’s not talking to me. I don’t feel like I’m part of the LGBT community anymore, because I’m just a normal straight guy, and I guess it’s the first time I somewhat feel some regrets ?

Now, I looked at my local Pride, and apparently this year’s prominent topic is the Conversion Powder, trying to ban it, so even if I wanted to go in as an ally, I would be the embodiment of what they’re avoiding…

I dunno, I’m feeling very conflicted. And it’s not the kind of things I can really talk about with Abby, considering to her I was always a normal straight guy. So I guess I’ll write about it here when I feel like venting.

June 3rd

This whole Pride Month thing is really going to my head, I cannot help but think about it… I look away each time I see rainbows, I avoid LGBT news and I feel awkward each time I see someone being visibly LGBT…

But really, I think I’m being so obsessed by it that I’m triggering old memories of when I was gay, I almost caught myself checking out a guy… If I didn’t know I was on the Conversion Powder, I would have said I was living through a gay awakening…

June 5th

OKAY OKAY CODE RED IT’S CONFIRMED I’M SOMEHOW REGAINING MY ATTRACTION TO MEN !

It’s too much to only be Pride Month behind that. I’m actively being turned on by men… even though I’m taking the powder everyday… each time it happens I switch to a mental image of a woman, but it doesn’t seem to really do anything…. I’m straight, that’s for sure, but why is my body suddenly not wanting to respond correctly ?

Fuck, why am I writing this, it has to be a fluke, I’m sure… I must be quite horny, since Abby has been quite busy with her internship.

I’ll call her up, have some good straight sex like I should, and see if this fluke happens again tomorrow (hint : it won’t).

June 6th

It did.

If I could sigh on paper, I would. Trust me.

The sex was a bit forced, I’ll admit, but today when I went for a morning jog, I saw one of the most drop-dead gorgeous guy I had ever seen… He was quite muscular, but not too much, was tall, handsome, had great hair and a light dusting of body hair where it mattered. Plus, his pecs were quite prominent, it felt as if I could squeeze them and sleep on them, they were so juicy… Fuck, reading back I’m describing that guy like I used to describe guys when I was gay, even though I’m straight…

Tomorrow I’ll up the dose of Conversion Powder, I’ll see what will happen.

June 7th

Do NOT take more than one dose of Conversion Powder at once, learn from my experience.

When I took those two drinks, I had the worst headache I’ve ever had… and then I was hyper-horny for a good 6 to 8 hours, wanting to fuck women, fuck women and fuck women… I’m really happy I had nowhere to go today, since I just gooned myself to straight porn for hours on end, even forgot to eat. It was actual madness.

But then, suddenly, my horniness stopped. I was just… spent, sitting inside a mess of cumstains that were hell to wash out, not really understanding what happened to me.

I’m afraid.

June 9th

The situation did not improve, my attraction to men just kept coming back, to the point I can basically now call myself thoroughly bisexual. But I’m not under any illusion : my attraction to women is very likely going to fade at some point.

And it’s going to make me lose Abby.

I’ve also looked around on the web, and found that I’m not actually the only one to be “reverted”, as people seem to refer to it as. Apparently, it’s due to people being used to the drug : since it cannot actually change attraction, it only overwrites attraction. So it acts like a drug, the more you take it the less effective it becomes…

So yeah, I’m becoming gay whether I want it or not…

June 12th

It’s beginning. The end is beginning.

I feel it, how women are starting to interest me less and less. I’d rather be dealing with dicks than with pussies… I had sex with Abby yesterday, and I just wasn’t into it. It just didn’t feel as exciting, as wonderful as it used to be when I first had sex with her…

Even she noticed it, and asked if everything was alright with me. I lied about being tired because of training, but it will only get me so far… I need to tell her at some point, before it’s too late. But I just don’t have the heart to break hers, it would also break my heart to have to leave her… I really wish I could stay straight…

So much for being “normal”, eh ?

June 14th

This afternoon, we met for our usual Wednesday dates. And I gathered the courage to tell her everything.

I told her how I was gay, how I used the Conversion Powder, how I then had a crush on her, and how I’m slowly becoming gay again. I was so afraid telling her that. Because I absolutely was in the wrong, I kept her in the dark about an important part of myself, and I was afraid of her reaction… heh, it’s kind of my first coming-out, in a way.

However, Abby, blessed be her heart, took it in strides, and the only thing she became angry over was the fact that I decided to take the Conversion Powder… Turns out she’s bisexual, and is really against it, and I guess I became another example for her to latch onto to deem it unacceptable… We had a goodbye kiss, and I told her that I still had a few days of liking women, so we should do whatever last thing together as a couple as we can.

I’ll see what she has in store for me.

June 15th

Okay, today was wild.

Abby basically took a whole day off just for me, and invited me to her place. And I was barely inside her bedroom that she just came in with tons of sex toys. I’m not even sure where she found half of those… And so, we just spent the remainder of the day having sex in many a kinky setup… the last of my straight sex would be kinky sex…

It was great, I hadn’t had so much fun in a long while, especially worrying this much about the end of the Conversion Powder… and I feel that from now on I’ll know her body way too much for someone who will soon become her Gay Best Friend.

So yeah, a great way to close the straight chapter of my life. We’ve decided, with Abby, that tomorrow I’ll get off the Conversion Powder, and that will be our official break up.

June 16th

First day without Conversion Powder, and I’ve been in bed fighting the inevitable headache that such an action accompanies.

Abby was kind enough to come look after me, and it honestly felt really weird to look at her and feel basically not much happening in my dick. Only remained aesthetic attraction.

While she was here, I made her read this diary. It was quite a humbling experience, as she was basically reading through my heart. Her reactions ranged from laughter to concern, including a few realizations about our history together. I mean, I didn’t know she remembered the time I almost confessed to her but was interrupted by someone else !

She also told me that it was weird how I didn’t mention being afraid about the bros, and honestly… I find it also weird now that she mentions it. I dunno, when I decided to take the powder, fitting in with the bros was such a priority for me, yet today, I feel like I have such a good relationship that I wouldn’t trust them to care either way. But I did make a coming out message in our group chat, basically explaining the same stuff as I did with Abby. I’ll see how it goes, but currently Terry eagerly responded with a “I support you!!!!!!1!!!”.

June 18th

My headache was very strong, and I stayed in bed again yesterday, but by now I think it has passed. I didn’t expect the aftereffects of the Conversion Powder to be this severe...

I don’t think I’ll have much to say in this diary in the future, especially as I seem to be going back to the normal me. I mean, normal gay me. But since I’ve had a lot of time to think about this whole situation the past few days, I’ll write about my experiences here.

So, first of all, I’m glad to have made this experience of what straight life looks like. However, I also think that it was a mistake.

Basically, I think that when I did it, I took the easy way out. Pointing to an inalienable part of myself as being the cause of all my woes and then trying to remove it, it just shows a laziness from me. Like I can’t try and imagine what an actual solution looks like, I have to change myself before being able to fix stuff. However, I feel that this experience made me learn that I was actually able to do all the things I felt were lacking. Talking to Abby she made me notice that, aside from being straight, nothing really changed after taking the Conversion Powder, so all the things I blamed myself for making me look faggy just… didn’t. It was only me being afraid, and letting it talk rather than the rational mind. So all the good things I had when I was straight, I can just have them if I get out of the mindset that gay is bad.

So… yeah ! Although it still feels a bit weird to say, I’m gay, and I’m proud ! All my woes weren’t due to me being gay, they were due to me being afraid, so now I decide to not be afraid anymore ! I hope that whoever reads this diary (including me) will understand that they don’t need to take out a part of themselves to find happiness. They need to get over their fears, and only this way will the road to happiness will be opened !

Well said, love from the past ! -T

[ad0rechuu]

ᝰ MY OH MY. ━━ (009) classic sunwoo-yn-bff-date

WORD COUNT. 1343

WARNINGS. swearing (like always), mentions of food and insecurities, lots of physical touch, princess diaries references, also please remember that sunwoo is sunwoo if u know what i mean ;p | i’m so excited to post this but written chapters are always terrifying to post for me so please leave me your thoughts and feedback <3 i really need it when it comes to these

credits to @ari-shipping-stuff for being my beta reader / writer <33

YOU HAD TO GIVE IT TO SUNWOO. HE WAS TRUE TO HIS WORD.

Half an hour after the text, you opened the door in your pajamas to find a panting Sunwoo, water dripping down his raincoat as he held up a bag.

He didn’t even let you greet him or invite him in properly before he'd stormed past you. He shrugged of his coat and placed it over a random chair, leaving him in his familiar black hoodie and sweatpants as he turned to look at you.

Sunwoo was the first to speak up despite the questions circulating in your mind.

“Why do you look so surprised? I told you I was coming over for a classic Sunwoo-Yn-BFF-date.”

You squinted your eyes at the boy in front of you. He pushed his dripping curly hair out of his face.

You tried giving him the dirtiest look you could manage. “I don’t care what you say. I’m not going out, Sunwoo.”

“Yeah, I obviously knew you’d wanna stay holed up in here.” He rolled his eyes and held up the shopping bag once again. “That’s why I bought snacks and the passwords for Kevin hyung’s streaming services accounts, because lord knows he’s probably paying for all of them.”

As Sunwoo trailed off to complain about Kevin’s spending habits as if he had to pay for it himself, you walked over to the bathroom to get the boy a towel. In the couple of moments you were in there, you caught a glance of your state in the mirror.

Sure, you still looked disheveled and you still had bags underneath your swollen eyes from the crying and lack of sleep, your lips.. your lips were also cracked and swollen from the excessive amount of chewing you did on them out of stress;

But somehow, you knew you looked a little brighter than before and you’re almost certain who was to blame for that change.

You walked back to your living room where, to your horror, Sunwoo had already made himself comfortable on your couch.

You rushed over and scolded him. “Get off my couch! You haven’t even dried yourself off and it’s way too expensive for you to douse it in rainwater.”

Sunwoo scoffed, looking at you with a judgmental expression when you held out the towel to him. “You act like this couch is going to bring you gold. You got it from a fucking thrift store!”

He didn't take the towel, instead grabbing your arm and leaning his head in your general direction.

“Are you seriously implying that I dry your hair right now?” You gasped.

Sunwoo sat up at the edge of the couch, still holding your arm and pulling you so that you’re standing in between his legs.

“Yeah, it’s nicer when you do it.”

“I thought I was supposed to be the one cheered up.” You scoffed, rolling your eyes. Sure, you might sound annoyed, but Sunwoo could tell by the way you gently began to dry his hair anyway that it was only a joke.

“You get to see my handsome face from this close. I consider that a win for all of us!” He smiled up at you, the towel now covering the greater part of his head and ears.

You left it there and turned around to let yourself fall on a comfortable spot next to him on the couch.

“Just for that, you can do it yourself.”

You don’t even look at him, simply letting him gasp at you in disbelief as you grabbed the remote to search for something for you to watch.

Eventually he gave in, continuing to dry his hair himself. Of course, not without complaining, but you didn't mind. It was kind of comforting; him being here while you felt like dying was comforting. So he could complain as much as he wanted so long as it meant you could have your best friend by your side.

“I NEVER GOT why they act like Mia’s makeover was such a big deal. Sure, if she explicitly wanted to change up her look I would get it, but they act she’s a totally different person when she is just as pretty before.”

You ended up settling on watching ‘Princess Diaries’ again, curled up on the couch with Sunwoo’s arm resting behind you while you two stuffed your faces with snacks and other unhealthy, comforting treats. The two of you had watched the movie more times than you could count on both your hands. At that point, it was nearly a symbol of your friendship. It just never got old to you.

You nodded with Sunwoo as he monologued about the movie's endearing yet problematic 2000s-esque plot.

“But that makes me think,” You said through a mouthful of Doritos, still staring at the screen. “Do you think Yeonjun would’ve made that bet if I was different? If I, like, changed? You know?”

Sunwoo’s attention on the movie immediately moved a hundred percent towards you with that sentence. You only turned your head towards him when you felt his wide eyes burning a hole in the side of your face.

“Are you considering changing for him?!” No sign of a joke or anything of the sort could be detected in his voice as he asked.

You smiled and looked down. You did consider it for a while. That was how much you felt for him. But in the end, you shook you head.

“I don’t really want to change. But I wonder about it sometimes. Maybe he’d love me back if I did?”

Focusing your gaze back on the screen, you whispered to no one in particular. “I just wanna be loved too.”

“You should never change for a man though. You shouldn’t change for anyone, for that matter. What’s the point of being loved if it isn’t for your true self? That just seems tiring.” Sunwoo's voice was raised and his eyebrows furrowed. He was clearly not done with the topic yet. “Also, he’s a selfish-stupid-dumb-dumb-poopyhead and nothing you do is going to change that.”

Your laugh echoed through the small living room at his word choice. Sunwoo fought back a small smile at the wonderful sound.

Finally, he turned back to the television with you. “I can’t ever understand why you still care about him so much after everything, but I get where you’re coming from. Don’t we all crave to be loved deep down?”

The last sentence caught you off-guard. Sunwoo often hid behind silly jokes and funny remarks, but he could be quite insightful when he wanted to be. You nodded once again, trusting that he saw it in the corner of his eye.

He did. He placed the arm that was resting behind you around your own, rubbing it gently. “And don’t worry. I’ll always be here to love your true self, despite your, well… thousands of extremely obvious flaws.”

“Hey!” You exclaimed, making Sunwoo cover his ears. You completely ignored all the nice stuff he said as you proceeded to punch him in the arm with an offended look on your face.

He had the nerve to seem just as offended. “I’m not apologizing. You are a very messy and deeply flawed person, Yn!” He said matter-of-factly.

Rolling your eyes, you sunk back into the sofa. “Gee, thanks, man!”

His offended charade didn't last long. Soon enough, a smile grew on his features. He almost crushed the snacks in between you as he wrapped his arms around you and pulled you towards him. Your head landed softly against the shoulder of his black hoodie.

“But I meant what I said. I’ll promise that I’ll do my best to make you feel even the slightest bit loved.��

“Why?” A pout was still present on your lips, but you didn't make any effort to move free from his grip, only nuzzling your cheek in the crook of his neck.

You could feel him shrug as he pulled a blanket over the two of you.

“Because that’s what best friends do, I guess.”

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NOTES. writing this i knew exactly what i wanted to do with this chapter and im pretty satisfied with how it came to be also yes i am a princess diaries stan at heart <33

TAGLIST. @tocupid @leo-seonghwa @seonghwaddict @starryunho @yuyusuyu @kodzumo @felixsramen @aapplepii @juhakutie @gyumibear @alixnsuperstxr @atinyinateezverse @nyukyujs @yunho-mp3 @blueresides @shakalakaboomboo @haechology @ahnneyong @atinycafe @i-luvsang @nasangel @asherthehimbo @marvelahsobx @blue-rainydays @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @evilsailorsenshi @allisonleannn @sunkitti @koizekomi @ms-no1kpopstan @marsvillee @tubatu-wari-wari @jazminethecreator

[brellafaun]

assorted small town au ramblings

all the hargreeves kids grew up in different houses with their birth moms but still went to the same schools together. lila was a transplant from the burbs and she was dying of boredom her first year there

a small mountain town just feels right. lots of woods to explore, plenty of places to hike- small enough that everyone is close, but spacious enough that it's not suffocating

i can picture some of the boys going hunting when the season comes around. diego would probably get really into it and five would be the best with a crossbow. everyone is down for fishing and screwing around at the local lake, though

speak of, hargreeves family cookouts monthly. everyone brings something and the kids run around while the adults just chill. either hosted by diego and lila's place or at the lake's shitty park tables

Luther is a math teacher at the local middle school (he is so smart. i will die on this hill) and adores his job. all the kids think he's the coolest person they've ever met. Sloane is the geography/history teacher down the hall. they make lunches for each other and spend their prep periods together. their students FREAKED OUT when they found out they were married. he works with the local scout troops over the summers and likes canoeing the best

Diego works with the local fire department (i can't make him a cop i'm sorry) and loves it. got really into axe throwing and wanted to teach Stanley, Grace, and the twins how to do it before Lila vetoed it. deer hunts in the fall, fishes as often as possible. epitome of girl dad, those kids have him wrapped around their little fingers. best bass player in town and avid enjoyer of the local bars' battle of the bands

Allison works with local government. amazing public speaker. lives in the heart of town with Ray and Claire, happier than ever. always the first to volunteer for Claire's school events- coaches for the high school volleyball team and is the best drama coach they've ever seen. surprisingly, loves camping the most out of anyone in the group. points out every constellation (she and Luther compete to see who can name the most) when they're outdoors and makes the best s'mores

Klaus sells the crochet and knit goods they make at local markets/the town festivals. has immaculate reviews on his etsy store. somehow pulls the best thrifting hauls with Allison and Claire. goes to the lake the most out of the group- loves to swim out and relax in the water. doesn't go on the hunting or fishing trips but does know all of the edible plant species they can forage locally. roomies with Ben and has a cat named Tango. keeps picking up DIYs in order to have excuses to visit Dave down at the hardware store

Five is the group cryptid. has a cabin in the woods somewhere. almost a full-on survivalist, bound to actually go feral someday. works with the town's historical society and archives. gets lunch with Herb and Dot semi-regularly. Mr. Pennycrumb accompanies him everywhere, and nobody argues with it. cans his own food and has bees on his property (he regularly leaves jam and honey jars on the others' porches and denies doing so). either the best dressed one at the function or wearing an awful fishing/hunting pun hoodie, no in-between

Ben is a librarian, and a kickass one at that. the best at story hour (his puppeteering skills with the octopus are immaculate) and incredible with multitasking. handles a bunch of finance stuff behind the scenes (diego and klaus are hopeless with taxes, five has almost been arrested for evasion). works on his motorcycle when he has free time and rides down to the valley to visit his girlfriend. presses wildflowers and helps at the community garden

Viktor works at the local music shop, Icarus Records. Luther is his most frequent customer and has probably bought at least half of their stock at this point. he's got more music knowledge than anyone else in town. loves going out on the hiking trails to play at the peaks- it brings him a sense of peace like nothing else. volunteers with the schools to teach music. still in his teenage band with Diego and Lila. visits his mom every week and sits out on the porch with her drinking sweet tea. budding romance with the newest transplant- a recently divorced woman from texas. (her son adores him already)

Lila also works with the historical society, but as the chaotic social media/marketing manager. she gets paid to meme and that's probably her dream career. attends every PTA meeting purely to psych out the other moms. drums whenever she gets the chance, absolutely demolishing everyone at the battle of the bands. chaotic evil driver- she learned with city traffic and assumes it makes her immune to the super windy roads. steals Diego's flannels and denies it

might make a separate post about their teenage years,,,

[blackberryblossom]

dating jesse pinkman hcs 🍃

warnings: nsfw (reader is gender neutral)

sfw

i don’t even really know where to start

jesse is the sweetest, softest guy ever and nothing anyone says will convince me otherwise

he’s just so obsessed with you-

cannot go a day- no, an hour without telling you he loves you

you'll be eating breakfast (eggs, that he made) and he'll reach across the countertop, grabbing your hand, looking up at you with those beautiful blue eyes, kissing a soft "i love you" into each fingertip 😭😭

you'll blush and look away, and he'll smirk, squeezing your hand and taking a sip of his orange juice

he wakes up really early sometimes, for no particular reason

on those mornings, he’ll simply lay back and listen to your soft breathing and the sound of birds chirping prettily outside, watching the slow rise and fall of your chest, waiting for you to wake- and when you finally do, he’ll roll over on top of you, tickling your sides, peppering your beautiful, beautiful face in a thousand kisses, whispering sweet nothings and quiet “i love you’s” in your ear

big on quality time and physical touch

he doesn’t have much in his shitty little house, but he has a tv, and he has you and sometimes when he wakes in the middle of the night, he’ll turn the tv on and pull you closer to him, your soft, slow breathing and the drone of the tv lulling him back into a deep, peaceful sleep

he loves holding your hand- in the car, when you’re watching tv, cuddling, eating, walking somewhere, at the store.. etc

loves it when you lay your head in his lap, closing your pretty eyes and letting him run his hands through your hair and stroke your face and trace his finger along your jaw

loves kissing you- your jaw, hand, knuckles and fingers, shoulders, collarbone, mouth.. you name it

i feel like he draws

he’ll make little doodles and he’ll draw the things around him- the orange on the countertop, a leaf he found on the ground, a lighter he found in his pocket

you’re his favorite subject though 🥰🥰 he’s got so many drawings of you- probably enough to fill several sketchbooks

there’s ones of you cooking, lying in bed, smoking on the porch, fresh out of the shower in just your towel..

his line of work is dangerous, and jesse does his best to protect you from it all

he gives you little gifts all the time- bracelets or necklaces he made himself, gum he bought while out grocery shopping, a pair of shoes or something he saw at a thrift shop, some sort of trinket he’d nicked from walter’s car/coat pocket..

big on flowers too- he’ll pull over anywhere to pick flowers for you if he saw some he liked

basically he’s just the sweetest<3

nsfw

switch with a sub preference

the kinda guy to get pleasure just from going down on his partner

will always finish last if he can help it

leaves hickies all over your body, carefully avoiding obvious or visible places- ie. your neck, shoulders..

doesn’t strike me as the kinda guy with a huge dick tbh but he definitely knows how to use it ;)

there’s always foreplay, even if it’s a quick fingering or make out sesh

he’ll insist on undressing you each and every time, but it’s never awkward; he’s kneeling in front of you, holding your hips while looking up at you, kissing down your body and mumbling loving compliments

aftercare >>

he’ll clean you up, get you some water, help you up if need be- grabbing at your waist, laughing breathlessly as you lean against him..

[introvertedandscared]

i was recently given a writing prompt simply titled 'blue' on an online forum i use, and wanted to try my hand at doing something for it.

i'm actually really proud of it- i dont know if its my best work, it always feels that way after i make something new, but it was really therapeutic to write and hey, practice makes perfect. ill never be any good if i dont work towards it.

this piece is an expression of my gender and identity, told through a narrative perspective. most of these events are either heavily fictionalised or not actual events in my life, and i'm unsure if the main character is actually me or not, but it is heavily related to my personal thoughts, feelings, and history.

its about 959 words, a short read, enjoy! and keep an eye out for more writing on this blog if you liked this ദ്ദി(｡•̀ ,<)~✩‧₊

Blue

My favourite shirt is blue. Not a bright, attention-catching blue, but a soft one. Like blue hydrangeas. That’s not why it’s my favourite—I don’t even like the colour blue all that much—but it’s what everyone notices about it. When my mother comes into my room and asks for the laundry, she’ll point out ‘the blue one that you wear all the time’. When my friends and I are coordinating our Halloween plans, they ask to borrow my blue shirt for their costume. My brother will tell me that my blue shirt has somehow ended up in his closet. I’ve come to think of it more as a title than anything else. My Blue Shirt. All words capitalised, because they are important.

The reason it’s my favourite shirt is because it’s mine. I bought it with my own money—I had a whole 15 bucks I’d earned from babysitting—at the small thrift store on the corner after school on a Tuesday. It had been the first thing I’d picked up off the rack, not even checking the price or size. I had a curfew, and I knew that if I didn’t buy something that afternoon, I never would. I was 12, and the shirt I grabbed was 3 sizes too large, but I didn't care. I wanted it.

I still remember the woman behind the counter that day. She was probably middle-aged. At the time, I was transfixed by strands of her greying hair. She seemed radiant and wise. Untouchable. She was beautiful.

When I laid the shirt out in front of her, she looked directly at me for the first time since I’d entered the store, an amused expression playing across her face.

“You know this is for a man, right?” She asked, taking in my short stature, my girlish pigtails and sport shorts. My t-shirt that had recently started clinging to all the wrong places on me. I hated my clothes; my mother bought them all. She asked me for my opinion, sometimes, but I was only ever given the option to choose between the lesser of two evils. This shirt or that one. Those skirts or these jeans. Lately, I’d just let her take over completely, letting my eyes wander through the aisles while she shopped. No matter what store we were in, my gaze would always land on the men's section. I always let it linger for a second too long.

“It’s… for my brother. Last minute costume change for his, um, dance team. He needs something blue,” I mumbled through my excuse, terrified the woman would question me more, but she’d already started ringing my purchase up. The bubble of hope that had been growing in my chest ever since I’d ridden my bike out of the school gates that afternoon finally burst, into something bright and fiery and right. Something completely new. 

Later, at home, I tried the shirt on in front of my mirror. It reached down to my knees and looked utterly ridiculous, but it also didn’t hug my torso and hips trying to accentuate not yet existent curves. It made my body little more than a formless mass of cloth.

Five minutes after I put it on, my brother walked by my bedroom door. He took one look at me and laughed, and I laughed with him. He said I looked ‘stupid as shit’—words I still found scandalous at that time—and I’d agreed, but once he left I couldn’t bring myself to reach my own eyes in my reflection. I was scared of what I’d see. 

It’s been four years, and I still have that shirt. I’m wearing it now, bent low over the bathroom sink, scissors clutched tightly in my left hand, watching my hair swirl down the drain. I feel bile rising up in my throat at the sight, but it’s not from… disgust or panic. It’s- fear. I am scared to see myself. I am scared to know, because once I do there is no going back. It may not seem like it, but I am not one to dwell on the past. I live in the now. The now where I have just sheared away all of my hair at 3 AM, in the house my great-grandparents built with their own two hands. I wonder if they would be disappointed in me.

I don’t know if my mother will be mad—it’s hard to tell with her—maybe she’ll scold me, or laugh and schedule an appointment to get the mess I’ve made fixed, or maybe she’ll reach out, eyes soft. Maybe she’ll finally see me.

But I need to see myself first. I have been blind for far too long.

I steel myself—taking a sharp, shuddering inhale of air—and look up into the face of the mirror before me. I look up, and it feels like the final piece slots into place. The final piece of a puzzle I’ve been trying to solve for four years. For my whole life. 

The face staring back at me is no longer a reflection but a reality; the burning feeling in the centre of me flaring to life, consuming everything I thought I was.

I press a gentle hand to my chest, pressing down the two masses of fat and connective tissue that have always seemed to burden me more than my peers. I let the folds of blue obscure them until it almost looks as though they are not there. I wish more than anything that they weren’t.

I take myself in, gaze reverent and disbelieving.

My blue shirt is my favourite shirt, because unlike all my others, it fits perfectly. Ever since I first bought it, it has fit perfectly.

[shadowgale96]

Xie Lian is resourceful, smart, and LOVES thrifting! a modern Xie Lian would have 5 roommates to split rent with. He’d be god tier at couponing and hunting down deals and savings. He’d get most of his stuff from thrift stores or buying second hand through FB market place. He’d be a DIY MASTER too. He doesn’t need many clothes because he will mend what he has. He’ll try to repair or repurpose everything before getting rid of it. He’d likely have multiple jobs, but I imaging his main one would probably be at a place like a thrift store or a pawn shop. He’d probably have some volunteer jobs too. Xie Lian would definitely also have a small garden. Even if he didn’t have the living space for an actual garden, he’d make use of the free space in his apartment to grow simple herbs.

Even after he meets, moves in, and marries a very wealthy Hua Cheng, he’d come home like “San lang I just bought 4 name brand deodorants, a cute wall sign, and 2 toothpastes for $1.80 with my coupons at that clearance event!”.

Xie Lian is resourceful and makes the most of what he has

[prettyoddfever]

Trying to find a hat and scarf like Ryan’s for my boyfriend as he’s a massive panic and a Ryan fan. Any recommendations? Thank you ❤️

I think Ryan's scarf was from Diesel and the hat was probably from Lids. Those styles were pretty common at a lot of mall stores back then. I have no idea what's for sale at which places these days, but I did donate my own newsboy cap from the early 2000s to a thrift shop recently so maybe other millennials are doing the same??

Ryan said he bought the jacket in those pics "in Australia" in early October 2006 so that's all I know about that.

update: this isn't quite a newsboy cap, but it's close. Free People has this marine cap right now:

[yanderelovlies]

𝓨𝓸𝓾 𝓪𝓻𝓮 𝓪𝓼 𝓫𝓮𝓪𝓾𝓽𝓲𝓯𝓾𝓵 𝓪𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓭𝓪𝔂 𝓘 𝓵𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝔂𝓸𝓾

It had been years since Joseph's death. Yet you couldn't bring yourself to find another partner. It never felt the same, and a small part of felt guilt for just thinking it. So, instead, you stayed out of the dating pool. Admiring the other couples from a distance.

However, there was one holiday that always felt hard. You knew Valentines Day was really just a day for the companies, but that didn't stop the longing looks you gave the other couples. You wish Joseph was still here so you could spend the holiday like you used to.

Hoping to get your mind off of it, you decided to shop at the one place you knew they wouldn't have Valentines Day stock. The thrift store. You didn't really need anything from here, but looking wouldn't hurt. You went from aisle to aisle, looking through everything and grabbing whatever caught your eyes.

By the time you were done, you had a quiet bit to check out with. One of those things was a VHS tape you don't remember picking up in the first place. With an eerie title of "The incident of 83'" you were hesitant to keep it. That year already held awful memories for why add to it. Though the more you looked at it, the more you justified it with, "It's probably just a bad b-rated horror movie, and you could use a good laugh." So you bought it.

.

By the time you got home, you were already tired. So you quickly did your nightly routine before settling on the couch and pushing play on the couch to watch the VHS tape you bought. At first, it was static before slowly turning darker. The sound of static never stopped, but if you tried hard enough, you could hear faint music coming through.

The whole thing started to spook you a bit, so you got up to reject the tape, but as soon as you got close, the screen went black as the music grew loud. Before you could press the reject button, a yellow gloved hand reached through the TV grabbing your hand.

Terrified you try to pull away, but the grip on your hand was solid. Another arm came through the TV grabbing on the stand leverage as more the being came through the TV. You could feel terror turn into shock as his head came through the TV.

"Joseph...?" Your voice was shaky and breathless, but he recognized it all the same as his look. Joy turned to one of shock as well.

"Doll..." was the last thing you heard before passing out.

.

Once out of the TV, Jack was at your side quickly. He could feel tears begin to blur his vision the longer he looked at you. He gathered you into his arms, his eyes never leaving you as he noticed all the little ways you changed throughout the years.

It had been so long since he had seen you. He was positive he would never see you again. Yet here you are in his arms again. Jack smiled down at you, brush some of your hair back. "You're as beautiful as the day I lost you."

He stayed there for a little longer, admiring and occasionally kissing your forehead before finally picking you up and making his way to your room. He knew he would have to explain things to you, but that didn't really matter.

What mattered was he was here with you now, and he won't let anything separate him from you again.

[exilynn]

Hey, loves. I brought some HEADCANON'S from my BOOK;AU with Eddie. This is nothing more satisfying (it's all to promote my content and have some fun)

(echoes nocteris

Being in a relationship with Eddie from the perspective of Flight of Icarus - Loves Dragons

🏹 It's not a good idea to talk about other guys who resemble him— Eddie is a card-carrying jealous type. He respects you, but he can't help wanting to be the only guy in your life!

🏹 The love between you two is mutual, and the passion is intense and frightening. You would die for each other. But maybe it's just a "fantasy," and you're both aware of the limits of wanting each other in your lives.

🏹 From Eddie's perspective, everything you do can excite him, just like in The Police's song Every Little Thing She Does Is Magic.

🏹 You and he have a few things in common, even in music. Like your shared love for Iron Maiden, Depeche Mode, and more.

🏹 You're the center of his world, and he tries not to overdo it to avoid scaring you, but he ends up being a damn last romantic anyway.

🏹 Eddie found the same comfort in you that he has in Wayne, and he sees that as a gift after feeling like he was 'cursed' his whole life.

🏹 That time you played D&D into the early hours, he surprised you with his courage and determination. He believed in your abilities, but you definitely hooked him (forever?).

🏹 Since you write, he teases you, pestering to read your writings because he knows what they're about (erotic literature/drama).

🏹 The fights, a key point: Eddie knows he acts immaturely in some of them, but you always find a way to understand each other again despite the complexities. And those fights are "resolved" in bed, that’s it.

🏹 You "stripped" his soul and calmed the "dragons," and he couldn't be more grateful. (He lost his virginity with you.)

🏹 Despite his 'corroded' childhood and youth, Eddie gives his heart and soul to you, as if it's not much, but it would be his everything.

🏹 Not being used to affection and interest, you were the only girl who cared about his past jobs. Like when he told you, embarrassed, about working as a bartender for a while on the east side of Howling, but you looked at him as if he were your treasure, and you were the dragon that would protect him.

🏹 Eddie knows how to provoke jealousy by saying nonsense, never intending to belittle you. But he brags about his past and that damn "romantic adventures" diary.

🏹 He says stupid things like, "I'm not Kurt Cobain, but I'd kinda take a bullet for you."

🏹 Raised by women, he’s completely respectful towards all women he interacts with. And don’t worry, he’ll be there for you if you're dealing with a terrible PMS (even if it means challenging your red dragon within).

🏹 Eddie is never quite sure if you enjoy his world—I mean, you brought the comfort he never had in childhood with his dad. So he sees you as a significant attachment figure.

🏹 He knows, he just knows where to touch you if he wants to stir a mix of excitement and confusion.

🏹 Eddie loves a light BDSM game when you grab his handcuffs off the wardrobe and show him who's boss (he enjoys that role reversal).

🏹 He would show you Hot Wheels collections you used to play with and a bunch of junk he kept somewhere from the old mechanic shop where he worked with Wayne as a teenager. It's all part of the flirting, trust me.

🏹 He would joke about how you ignore him and give attention to "non-living" things, referring to "stupid devices" that don't entertain you.

🏹 He always makes sure to check on you, and if he suspects you're not okay, he'll find any excuse to cheer you up and help you shut off from your problems.

🏹 He’s a big, romantic lover, and when he’s high, he creates entire semi-intellectual debates (the perfect opportunity since he's a nerd). "The guys from Athens looked like they were wearing grandma's clothes they bought at a thrift store" (probably in a discussion about Socrates and the academy).

🏹 One of the worst things he can see is you crying, so be aware that he'll make you laugh (after you’ve sobbed and he’s hugged you tight).

🏹 The whole thing about him seeing himself as the town's (freak) because of Jason and his crew (Jason, you bastard). Eddie doesn’t feel like that anymore —the horrendous creature—since he fell in love with you and you brought emotional stability into his life.

🏹 When he runs out of creativity for songs and crumples up papers but then reconsiders because you taught him a sacred (fake, made-up by you) proverb: the "I should."

🏹 Eddie is the type of "star lover," so he’ll invite you, in the middle of the night, after you’ve bundled up, to stargaze (because he appreciates you and couldn’t be more comfortable comparing you to them).

🏹 He’s the noise guy, but he doesn’t mind spending some quiet time when he's with you. Putting on some slow music, whether to dance or just to enjoy the moment in the trailer with you.

🏹 He’d probably have a custom necklace made for you and give you his skull ring, even though he sees it as his "lucky charm."

🏹 He’s a tease, that’s the word. If you want to sit still for a while, fiddling with something that isn’t him, he’ll bug you until you pay attention (needy but mature enough to understand space).

🏹 He lightly squeezes the back of your neck when you're anxious—the neck and shoulders are the tensest parts of your body, and he knows it. Besides your restless legs, which he calms by holding them with caresses.

🏹 He loves that "hit and return" game, like when you challenge him to a silly duel.

🏹 Eddie protects you at all costs; if you have unfaithful friends, he’ll choose you over them every time. Anyone who harms your honor is no longer worthy.

🏹 If he sees someone circling you with malicious intent, he’ll pull you away from what he calls a threat to his Punk Fairy/Banshee.

🏹 He would dedicate anything to make you feel like the most badass, strong, and beautiful woman in the world… especially in his little world.

If you guys like it, I'll bring some of the best quotes he said in the book <3

[the-au-with-no-name]

✨beach headcannons since it’s still summer!✨

- Nazo usually only goes there because seelk and the others go. You can usually see him lounging on a beach chair, sketching out some cute designs for swimwear to commission later down the line. He might also be chatting it up with rouge when she tries to tan! (Girl has got stories for DAYS.) However, he can be encouraged to swim in the water or play a few rounds of beach volleyball!

- seelkadoom on the other hand, he’s doing all the physical shit on the beach. Beach volleyball, swimming in the ocean, building sandcastles with some of the others. All of it. The guy never runs out of energy at the beach, and is honestly the biggest influence while there to do fun activities!

- Iris is mostly on babysitting duty with most of the kids, as vanilla and most of the other parents trust her and nazo that they won’t end up injured when under their care. If they do, then Nazo steps in and heals them! Outside of that, she’s probably splashing around in the water, dancing her heart out to music, and swimming underwater to find cute seashells to give to seelkadoom for his sand castles!

- Sonic and crew are much like seelkadoom, energetic and doing most of the beach activities! Sonic and tails are usually on a team together for beach volleyball, while seelkadoom and shadow just team up and kick ass every time!

- Iris has a bunch of swimsuits that have been either gifted or bought herself. However, she does have a personal favorite swimsuit. It’s a genuine vintage 1950’s two piece swimsuit that is in perfect condition. Seelkadoom gifted it to her from a thrift shop he was looking at for some more pieces to add to his wardrobe, as many people were dropping their alternative pieces at that thrift. It’s baby blue in color, and the simple yet sleek design made it all the more better for her to wear at the beach!

- scourge and the destructix are usually seen at beach bars getting wasted in the summer. Nazo has to scold them constantly because of it, and boy is he reaching his limits with them.

- Amy and aeon can be seen taking photos of themselves and the others (well, except nazo.) Along with taking videos on their phones for social media. Amy is more videos, aeon is more photos!

- cream and the other kids are usually building sandcastles with Iris and seelkadoom, as Iris is on babysitting duty when they’re around, and when vanilla isn’t nearby!

- vector and the chaotix are usually the one bringing the drinks and snacks, but Nazo usually gives them the funds to do so.

- you better believe that rouge would have Amy, aeon, Iris, and all the older girls have a swimsuit fashion show. Although it’s mainly for fun, a few… icky guys try to watch for their own entertainment… so they usually have someone on standby in case they try to get handsy. It’s usually Nazo or shadow, but sometimes silver and knuckles does it!

- Sonic has little kiddie floaters due to seelkadoom and surge trying to drag Sonic into the ocean. They have a special technique to do it. Wait for him to get close to the ocean, position themselves, wait a minute or so, and then? SPLASH. They run up behind him, grab his arms, and yank him into the water! It usually gets a laugh out of a lot of them, but it does concern a few of them. Amy, shadow, and Iris specifically. (Idea from hunnieglazed!)

- later that evening, everyone brings up their favorite stories and adventures. The couples (or throuples!) all sit next to their partners, cuddling up against the bonfire before they set off a few fireworks!

- Iris would be the first to get exhausted and end up falling asleep in seelkadoom’s lap, leading to nazo and the group getting a few cute photos of them, and the three went home to get Iris to bed!

- cream, Amy, and vanilla would leave next. So on so forth. Until Sonic, shadow, tails, and Sonic remain.

-Sonic and shadow would be the ones to put out the fire, but then they couldn’t help but notice something. The skies have gotten darker and cloudier, with lightning in the distance. They think it’s a storm, so they quickly start getting home. However, little do they know of the dangers of the deep that they may have to face later down the line…

Taglist:

@hunniegl4zed @nutnbreaddo

[ofstoriesandstardust]

the one with the dress, the dinner, and the drinks

note: i found this dress on a pinterest (in the yellow color, if the link doesn’t work) and after talking to @gretagerwigsmuse (and subsequently @struggling-with-delia) i felt like i wouldn’t be doing Sunshine justice if i didn’t write this. enjoy. 

warnings: implied body insecurities, food mentions, alcohol mentions, mentions of financial insecurity, i had to do research on beer for this, this got away from me

In hindsight, you understand how Maverick had missed all the signs, had missed all the holes in your story. 

How, given the way you had behaved all night, Maverick had mistaken your nerves for butterflies, commenting how it was so nice that even after years of being together you and Bradley were still chasing each other, still falling in love with each other everyday. 

You pad down the stairs, tan heels in hand as you try not to think about the sweat on your palms. 

Tonight, you were meeting Bradley’s Uncle Ice for the first time. In the days since you’d first come to San Diego, Bradley and his friends had described Tom “Iceman” Kazansky to you as nothing short of a legend. Tom had been the one to make the reservation, a nice restaurant by the beach. 

You’d Googled it beforehand, eyes scanning the menu to figure out what you’d eat. You hadn’t missed the 3 dollar signs by the name, the 4.5 stars. You hadn’t missed how it was seated beachfront, inside one of the more expensive hotels in the area. You hadn’t missed how the cheapest thing on their menu, all their sides, started out at eleven dollars. You certainly hadn’t missed that the most expensive thing on the menu was the prime rib steak at sixty-nine dollars. 

If you hadn’t been so nervous about this dinner, you probably would’ve mentioned it to Bradley, expecting a joke about the number amount like he was 13. Still, you were both adults now, and you knew he’d question why you were even looking at the menu in the first place. He’d probably tease you for over-thinking it so much. 

You didn’t even dare click on the tab that would’ve taken you their cocktails and the beers they had on tap, knowing you’d just drink water. Alcohol tonight was probably a bad idea, with all your nerves, never mind the fact that if their sides were eleven (that still sounded absurd). 

And then, just after you’d gotten out of the shower, you’d looked hurriedly, wondering if it was expensive as you thought it was. Your jaw had dropped when the prices started hitting sixty dollars and you’re pretty sure you stopped breathing when the prices started creeping up towards a hundred. 

You had still yet to unlearn the anxiety around spending money, knowing you could afford to go eat at nice places like this once in a while. You’d still yet to unlearn mentally counting every penny you spent, unsure if you’d be able to pay your bills for the month. You’d still yet to unlearn the fear that came with living paycheck to paycheck, knowing everything counted. Even years later, you still feared something breaking, something needing a repair, having to buy a new outfit, never knowing if you had enough money in the bank for it. 

Your co-workers still teased you thrifting your clothes, saying you must be environmentally conscious to search for business causal in places like Goodwill. You didn’t know how to explain to them that it was because you still couldn’t bring yourself to step foot in a store more expensive than a DollarTree, afraid of the price tags.

How do explain the anxiety of going shopping, knowing you’ll have to put everything back on the rack? How do you explain the years of having to turn down invites and being left out because you couldn’t afford it?

Which is why, when you’d bought this dress for this dinner, you were nervous. You’d paced the floor of your apartment back in Boston as you thought about buying it. It was 50% off, you rationalized, and you wanted to make a good impression on these people. You could afford it, despite what your inner 19-year-old was screaming at you, and selfishly, a part of you hoped that maybe a nicer dress would finally catch Bradley’s attention. 

And it had pockets.

Bradley’s sitting on the couch, eyes trained on the Padres game on the television. He’s wearing a nice polo with blue jeans, his arm resting on the back of the couch. You don’t miss the way his biceps look in this position, bulging against the seam of the sleeves. You have to admit that he looks good, you’d be a fool to miss it, and there’s every part of you that wants to turn around and lock yourself in the guest room. 

It wasn’t that Bradley made you feel small, because Bradley Bradshaw never made anyone feel small, at least not intentionally. It was just that he looked so... good, and you looked so... you. A stable job and income didn’t change the fact that you still didn’t really know how to dress yourself, how to put on make-up, years of not being able to afford it making it feel silly to learn. 

It felt silly to try, knowing what kind of girls Bradley could get. 

Girls like Natasha. 

You cleared your throat and Bradley’s attention shifts to you. His eyes look over you and suddenly, you want to shrink back. Too much?

Always too much.

“I can go get a cardigan if you think-” 

“No.” He interrupts, shaking his head. “No, you look great.” You nod, swallowing. 

“Do you think- do you think you could tie the straps on the back?” You ask quietly, stepping a little farther into the living room. He nods, standing up from the couch. You turn, pulling your hair over one shoulder. His fingers brush against your spine as he laces up the back of the dress, fingers nimbly tying the bow. You hold your breath as he works, trying not to think about how intimate the moment feels, how much you want Bradley to pull you close. 

-

Pete, Maverick he insisted you call him, beats both you and Bradley and Tom to the restaurant. He’s quick to stand up from their table as the hostess walks you to it to give Bradley a tight hug. You hold yourself back, debating if you should sit down as you take in the beachfront view. 

As the hostess patiently waits for the two to finish up their greetings, you decide to sit, figuring Bradley will follow when he’s ready. Pete seems startled you sat before he could greet you but he doesn’t mention it as Bradley sits down next to you. 

“Welcome to JRDN at Tower23, can I get you anything to drink while you wait for the other member of your party?” She asks, handing Bradley a menu. He tries to share it with you but you just smile at the woman. 

“Water for me will be fine, thank you.” 

Bradley’s eyes flicker over to you in surprise. “I’ll start with he uh... Stone Buenaveza, please.” 

If you recalled form the three different Google searches, that was the salt and lime lager.

“Okay, and will that be a pint or 20 ounce for you tonight?” 

“Let’s start with the pint.” He says as the waitress writes it down. 

“Alright, Stone Buenaveza and the water. That’ll be right out.” 

“Where’s Uncle Ice?” Bradley starts as he closes the menu, leaning back in your chair. You’re attention is drawn from the two men to the people on the beach as the waves crash on the shore. 

“Work meeting ran late and then he hit traffic.” Bradley nods as his arm moves to rest on the back of your chair. 

“Don’t I know it? Crossing the Coronado bridge out of North Island is always hell.” 

Maverick shakes his head. “Only gotten worse over the years.” 

“How long were you waiting on us?” 

Pe- Maverick shrugs. “Not long, maybe only a couple of minutes.” 

The hostess appears again. “Here’s the Stella Artois here for you sir,” She says setting the glass down in front of Maverick. “-and the Stone Buenaveza for you, and then the water for the lady.” 

The woman has barely disappeared around the corner when another hostess appears, a man following behind her. Both Bradley and Maverick stand, and it feels like the wind is being knocked form your lungs as you realize this is Uncle Ice. 

The man is much more intimidating in person, although you aren’t sure if that has anything to do with the stories Bradley and his friends have told you over the last couple of days. 

He smiles as he brings Bradley into a tight hug. “Hey Baby Goose.” 

“Hey Uncle Ice.” Bradley’s voice is muffled into the man’s shoulder. 

Tom lets Bradley go and pats Maverick’s shoulder as he passes. “Pete.” He says with a fond sigh as Mav shoots him a grin. Tom sits down in the chair next to Pete, closest to the railing that separates your group from the beach. You wipe your palms on your dress, suddenly nervous again, as Tom looks to you. 

“Uncle Ice, this is my wife.” 

“Sunshine.” Maverick teases, a shit-eating grin on his face that suddenly disappears with a wince. 

You think Bradley might’ve kicked his uncle under the table.

Tom offers you a firm smile, reaching his hand out. “Nice to meet you.” You extend your hand, shaking his. 

“You too.” He turns your hand over, eyeing the ring you’d stuck on. 

“Surprised you didn't give her Carole’s ring.” 

You freeze, eyes flickering over to Bradley as Toms till holds your hand in his firm grip. 

You didn't even know he had his Mom’s ring. 

“It was a family heirloom.” You say suddenly, the words coming out of your mouth before you can stop them. “It was my grandmother’s, before she passed. My grandparents didn’t have a lot of money when they got married, so this was the first ring they were actually able to afford. It was important to me that it was the ring I wore because Bradley and I didn’t have a lot of money when we got married.” 

It’s all bullshit that’s coming out of your mouth but it seems to satisfy Tom, who lets your hand go. Bradley reaches out underneath the table to squeeze your knee in a silent thanks. 

He hums, opening the menu. He orders a chardonnay you wouldn’t even begin to be able to pronounce. Pete nudges him, offering him a grin. “Same old Tom Kazansky, always getting the most expensive drink on the menu.” 

“Is it?” Bradley asks, looking through his menu as the hostess leaves. 

“It’s a hundred and fifty dollars.” You recite, knowing exactly where on the menu the wine had been. All the men turn to you and you resist the urge to sink down in the chair. “I’m guessing.” 

“You Googled this place before we came, didn’t you?” Bradley asks, narrowing his eyes. You shrug. “Little miss picky eater over here always did that in college, searching up any place before we went there.”

You had always let everyone think you were a picky eater, especially towards seafood (which for some godforsaken reason seemed more expensive then everything else), because the alternative was explaining to them you couldn’t afford to go. You had only let one person know that in high school, the night of prom, and you wouldn’t deal with the shame and guilt that came from someone else paying for your meal out of pity and obligation ever again. 

You know that if you say anything now, Tom will see all the holes in your story and understand. 

He’s looking at you like he already knows. 

“Well, I’m sorry Tom made the reservation for a seafood place.” Pete jokes and Bradley laughs as you try to let the tension release from your shoulder. Tom’s still watching you carefully and you try not wither under his gaze. 

A waitress appears, cutting off the conversation. “Hi all, my name is Rebecca and I’ll be your server for tonight. Do you guys need more time with the menu or do you know what I can get started for you?” 

Tom hums again. “I know what I want. I’ll have the prime rib eye steak.” 

Pete snorts, probably because it is once again, the most expensive thing on the menu. “I’ll have the pork chop.”

“I’ll have the ahi tuna nachos.” Bradley says, closing his menu and handing it to the waitress. 

“I’ll just have the caesar salad.’ You say, handing the waitress your menu. 

“Okay, and would you like grilled chicken or salmon on that?” 

You shake your head. “No thanks.”

“Picky eater, I told you.” Bradley mutters and your heart clenches, not having the heart to tell him that chicken would’ve been another six dollars, the salmon an extra twelve. The salad was already sixteen dollars, the cheapest thing on the menu. 

The conversation falls silent at the table. Bradley nudges your knee with his own and you look over at him as the two men watch you both. He leans closer to you, lips hovering over your ear. “Relax, you’re doing fine.” He says, right hand coming out to squeeze one of your hands, in assurance. 

Pete clears his throat. “So remind me where the two of you met again? UVA right?”